After seeing some pictures of the hard-partying George Riley Mercer (aka Tinsley Mortimer and Dabney Mercer's dad), we're beginning to wonder if the CW picked the wrong family member to showcase in a reality show.-
Meet Major General George Mercer. He's not really a Major General, he just calls himself that on Facebook, and his pictures are so fantastic that we'll oblige him in this. The photo at left is his actual Facebook profile, which he himself captioned "Peace."
The Major General is 64 years old, and according to Wikipedia, a "Real Estate Investor", who can trace his fortune to his father's Mercer Rug Cleansing Company, and his lineage, purportedly, to Patrick Henry and James Madison.
Mercer married Dale Tatum, with whom he had Tinsley and Dabney. Like any proud Dad, Mercer has posted pictures of his daughters on his facebook profile. Unlike other dads, Mercer prefaces his daughter's names with the title "Socialite". The resemblance between the General and his daughters is striking: in our opinion, Tinsley has inherited his eyes, Dabney his mouth.
Though his daughters are more frequently photographed (which is a shame because this guy is hilarious), the Major General's drunken antics have landed him on Page 6 with surprising frequency for a 64 year old.
Last December, he was kicked out of The Plaza Hotel after "drunkenly stumbling onstage" and trying to sing "New York, New York" during a Michael Fredo performance. Fredo has obviously forgiven him for this transgression, and judging by the pictures on facebook, the two men are engaged in some kind of a May-December bromance.
Also! The Major General may or may not have taken a young wife. Or she's just an escort. It's kind of unclear. He says of his frequent companion, Krissy Morrow:
"We hang out sporadically, but have never so much as kissed. She's Tinsley's age."
So you see, it's just platonic. Except for that one time when they got wasted and got married.
"I was drunk as [expletive] at the time. The next thing I know she had dragged me in front of a judge. I signed something, but it's not worth the paper it's printed on."
So this story has everything! A Falstaff-esque lead character! Two beautiful daughters! A beautiful and jealous ex-wife! A gold-digging escort who he may or may not be married to! You really missed out on this one, CW.
The Major General, getting down!
[Photos via Facebook]