Weekends In The Italian Countryside Are SUCH A Drag

I really love New York City in the summers; the humidity and three centimeter layer of soot is GREAT for my skin, and there's really nothing quite like a relaxing subway ride and the fragrance of Chinatown in August. Still, if someone invited me to spend a weekend at their Sicilian palazzo, I suppose I'd be obliged to go....-

I mean...honestly this space looks a little cramped, but maybe it's bigger than it seems?

Why are there so many candles? Don't they have electricity in the country? Ugh.

Heels sinking into grass is the WORST.

Is there anything worse than a a long, candle-lit dinner al fresco with 60 people? It's like, the same old conversations about private planes, renovating villas, blah blah blah.

If you think this is as scenic as eating Ramen on a fire escape in Alphabet City, you're WRONG.

Look, if I wanted to spend a weekend with small children running around, I would have some.

People just milling about, doing nothing, when they COULD be playing a rousing game of "Dodge The Bicycle Messenger" in the city!

Maids are just NEVER reliable.

There's nothing worse than stepping out into the garden for breakfast and realizing that everyone else decided to wear white, too...

If only the other guests were more attractive, then MAYBE a weekend in the country would be tolerable.

[All photos via Vogue Italia]