So, obviously Twitter is the preferred medium of over-sharers everywhere. The whole point is to instantly broadcast to a wide range of people the minutae of your (no doubt fascinating) everyday life.
Still, there is a line, people. There is a line.
Next time you find yourself thinking "Hey! I should tweet that!", please take a moment to read the following guide, because too often, if the question is "To Tweet or not to tweet?", the answer is No, No, NO.
Things That Are Not To Be Tweeted:
1. Tweeting In Social Situations
Wow, you're having so much fun that you updated your twitter DURING the super fun dinner?
2. Tweeting Your Meals
OverTwitten Just ate peanut butter and jelly sandwich with chocolate milk and some carrot sticks. Considering Jello Pudding Pack....mmmmm.
Unless you're Gordon Ramsay, no one cares. Literally, no one.
3. The Twitter Play-By-Play
OverTwitten Pretty bored right now, so I'm gonna re:watch the entire Star Wars trilogy and tweet my opinions, scene by scene.
4. The Twitter Run-On
OverTwitten Good Morning! Just woke up and brushed my teeth. Pretty action packed day today, I've got a meeting at nine. Meetings are pretty fun if there
OverTwitten is food but if there isn't food then they get to be pretty boring. Ok! have a great day!
Ok, listen: The beauty of Twitter is that we only have to read about your life 140 characters at a time. Twitter run-ons are a blatant violation of any Twitter friendship, and definitely merit an Un-Following.
5. Twitter TMI
OverTwitten So the good news is that it isn't poison oak...the bad news is that the doctor has no idea what it is and it seems to be spreading...
We really, really, didn't need to know.
6. Google-Blind Twittering
OverTwitten Blind Date Update: NOT cute.
Even not cute people know how to find your twitter on google search!
7. Too Serious For Twitter
OverTwitten RIP Grandma. :-(
So glad you decided to memorialize Grandma VIA FREAKING TWITTER.
8. The Most Egregious Tweet-Type Of All
Yeah, so are we: Twitter FAIL.