Tigers Ain't No Match For Cougars
Tiger Woods knows how to play from the ruff, but he sure as heck doesn't know how to call a bluff. Why didn't his handlers see through Rachel Uchitel's transparent attempt to extract a payout via a press conference? Perhaps no one was paying attention in Game Theory class. If you evaluate the game tree of this "dilemma" the outcome is obvious.
It's clear that Uchitel would rather not come clean on her exact relationship with Woods. Whether it's Jiminy Cricket chirping in her ear or some other motive, her choices indicate that while she does enjoy her "star-fucker" status, she does not want to trade down to "home-wrecker" status. Therefore, she will always opt to choose a "Tell Nothing" strategy regardless of whether Tiger chooses a "Pay" or "Not Pay" strategy.
This is further proven by evaluating potential outcomes and their respective payouts.
- Woods Does NOT Pay, Rachel Tells All - We have already ruled this out above. Uchitel will not chose a "Tell All" strategy regardless of what Tiger chooses, since the net gain to her will be negative (i.e. official home-wrecker status). Hypothetical payoff: Tiger -10 | Uchitel -10
- Woods Does NOT Pay, Rachel Tells Nothing - Uchitel will naturally choose the "Tell Nothing" strategy in this case. Even though she didn't get paid, she can still remain "fuzzy", extend her 15 minutes of fame to 20, and retain an iota of dignity without completely ruining herself. Tiger wins hands down because allegations are never substantiated. Hypothetical payoff: Tiger +10 | Uchitel+5
- Woods Does Pay, Rachel Tells All - Impossible outcome, any payment would come with a draconian confidentiality clause. If Uchitel did tell after the fact, she would lose all of her gains. Hypothetical payoff: Tiger -10 | Uchitel -10
- Woods Does Pay, Rachel Tells Nothing - Tiger fails to call bluff. While he keeps the cat in the bag, rumors about hush money hurt his brand and give credence to allegations. Uchitel wins hands down, she doesn't have to talk and gets paid. Hypothetical payoff: Tiger +5 | Uchitel +10
Based on the above, Rachel Uchitel's payoffs are always highest with a "Tell Nothing" strategy regardless of Tiger's move. If Tiger had evaluated the game tree, he would have concluded that his dominant strategy was "Not Pay". That being said, all is fun in the hypothetical world. Uchitel is repped by Gloria Allred who has a knack for working with femme fatales, and she isn't likely to miss a beat. These scenarios also assume that Uchitel is rationale, which increasingly looks to require a suspension of disbelief.
Oh, fine enough with the mental posturing! A million dollars is a drop in the bucket to Tiger, of course he is going to pay to shut her up! Why even come close to taking the risk? Well played Rachel.
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05:45:48 PM February 13, 2012
scotty
December 5, 2009
12:20am
just another black athlete... didn't Kobe set you straight. Notice how all these guys like the white women. Tiger's girls look like they could suck-start a motorcycle.
Alexandria
December 5, 2009
7:04pm
Why would they let you post a racist comment.....color of skin has nothing to do with a man or a womean's actions.
ANTHONY
December 5, 2009
11:25pm
since when is telling the truth considered racist... i am sick of you politically correct facists. the fact is tiger is a black man and all of his mistresses and his wife are white. why cant this be said?????
millie
December 5, 2009
11:27pm
i agree with anthony... politically correct facists are every where but the truth is the truth... suck it up alexandria
JL
December 7, 2009
2:34pm
you all seem to forget that tiger is also asian. As if his being part black tarnished the whole mixture. You are racists.
Scotty's sounds like a racist
December 7, 2009
10:00pm
This just in Black men like white woman. Big whoop! Scotty Anthony and Millie all sound like they wear pointy white hats and start bonfires on black people's lawns. Who cares what his preference is? He married a swedish woman for God's sake why is it such a shock or even noteworthy that all of the mistresses are White. That's his cup of tea. Some people like brunettes. Some like full-figured women. What year is this? TO EACH HIS OWN. Just another Black athlete? These are the comments of an insecure bigot who is upset that someone of color dominates a traditional white sport. Sounds like you are the ones who need to come to terms with reality and suck it up.
Scotty's a turd
December 7, 2009
10:01pm
stupidity is contagious
Sara Beth
December 7, 2009
10:17pm
Um excuse me but how can you bring Kobe Bryant into this conversation? First he was in scandal over an alleged rape. What the heck does that have to do with consenual sex. Oh that's right people of color are all criminals. It's pretty sad that people still spew out such hatred in a matter of fact manner that is just scary. Hope Scotty develops a moral compass soon.