Aliens Are My Sisters!

by LAUREN BELSKI · May 14, 2008

aliensI was met with much relief upon discovering that those strange encounters of a few years ago, the ones that involved sleepover parties on strange, glowing discs moving slightly faster than the speed of light (though still not quite as bone-jangling as a ride on the Cyclone) where we gorged ourselves on mountains of Reese’s Pieces and spoke cling-on, are totally, holier-than-thou-ly legit. So says Father Gabriel Fumes, chief astronomer for the Vatican! Thank God! Thank David Bowie! If there’s life on Mars, it’s completely Catholically sanctioned for me to share a kinship with it/them. Forget that the Catholic Church locked Galileo up for saying the world was ROUND! Now they believe in aliens! They are totally ahead of the curve-d—universe, that is.