I.C.U.P. & Poo?!

by DOUGLAS MARSHALL · April 21, 2008

man pees and poos on subway [You won't believe what came next...]

Normally here at GofG we pride ourselves on reporting information with the highest standards of integrity; however some things are just too good to not share. After spending a thoroughly relaxing weekend outside of Manhattan, I came back into our fair city via train through Penn Station. I proceeded to hop on the A train to West 4th St. to switch to the B/D. While waiting for the subway, I sadly encountered Sunday Night Special Guitar/Singing act, so I walked down the platform to get away from it. It was decidedly not as bad as the next spectacle.

Here it was: A really old man, peeing into a cup while sort of trying to use a steel column as a make shift urinal/hiding spot. There was NOTHING discreet about this. He took his time, but when he was done, he inspected his cup which was about to runneth over – and then he flung the contents onto the tracks making a HUGE splash. CLASSIC. No one else on the platform seemed particularly disturbed by this. Two minutes later some guy was leaning on the column that was previously used as the urinal. UGH! A few minutes later the subway came, and guess who got into my car? That’s right, P.P. Papa. I wondered what he was going to do next to entertain me. Then I saw it, his reach for the newspaper. Which he opened up, semi pulled down his pants, shoved the newspaper in the back. Was it possible? Was he really preparing for the big #2!?


You better believe people started to notice now.

People started politely going to the other end of the subway car, slowly at first but picking up their pace as if a bomb was about to go off. All the while I was there watching, camera phone ready. Sure, I got some strange looks taking these pics, but I did it all for you! Luckily I got off at Broadway/Lafayette before the literal sh*t storm hit. What a welcome back!