If you've ever tried (failed) to get past Berghain's notoriously selective bouncers, then you know how difficult it is to break into the Berlin nightclub scene. Fortunately, for all you down-on-your-luck plebs, there is the Berghaintrainer, where you can practice being trill enough to get passed the nightclub guard. (We made the cut. Will you?)
As hard as this simulation is, we guarantee the actual doors will be worse. While the Berghaintrainer is a mere bot, the real guards will pick the holy few more subjectively. Even if you're dressed in your best ass-less chaps and Purge-esque mask, Sven (the titan of all bouncers) will smell the techno-tourism on you.
Reincarnate savant of the male-only fetish club, Snax, which was housed by Ostgut, Berghain has been hailed as the epicenter of Techno. Come for your bacchanalian, hedonistic indulgence in public sex, cultish exclusion, and a party that runs from 4 am 'til tea. If you think you have the endurance to stand in the cold for three hours before staring down the heavily tattooed fallen angel at the door, practice a few runs on the simulation first, dust off your coolest black sneakers, and most importantly brush up on your German - it's doubtful you'll get in without it.
Berghain Panorama Bar, Am Wriezener Bahnhof 1043 Berlin, Friedrichshain
[Photos via @signora_paolantonio_]