You don’t have to be keen on politics to understand that this presidential election has become a complete sideshow. Had you told us four years ago that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were going to be the frontrunners at this point in the election we would have laughed in your face. But now, alas, nobody is laughing. Even if you aren’t a big drinker you might need a few sips to dull down your mental function enough to watch the DNC without wanting to hurl your water bottle full of wine at the television set.
The media’s focus is not even close to being on what matters; most of these drinking cues are in response to all the irrelevant and mundane BS that has surrounded Hillary’s path to the nomination. Hey, we're not playing sides, but the media has really yucked this up. Grab a case of beer on your way home and get ready to morosely drown your indignant sorrows, for the only way to watch this thing is if you’re lit on some adult sodas. Please drink responsibly, because if you follow these rules to a T, chances are cirrhosis will set in before 10 PM. Good luck!
Drink every time someone mentions:
- Hillary is the only qualified candidate
- The first woman president of the United States
- Hillary is trustworthy
- Hillary supports women
- Anytime they talk about Bill’s presidency
- Every time they cut to Chelsea in the stands
- Every time they show Bernie looking like a confused old man
- If Hillary Laughs for longer than 2 seconds
- Whenever anyone mentions Pokemon
- Whenever someone says millennials
- And of course, every time they cut to Hillary’s face during a speech
For the seasoned drinker - take a drink every time they say:
Either Trump or ISIS
If you still can't fight off the weepies:
If they ever mention Emails or Benghazi… Drink the whole bottle!
[Photo via @hillaryclinton]