Were you lining up to work for Adrien Field after reading the Gawker piece about his “Intern Hunt” with partner Alexandra Alexis? Devastated by his denial of the item? No problem! While I do not have a web show (which actually seems kind of cute) I also have a novel that one day I might, maybe, get around to attempting to publish. However, as my intern, it won’t all be sitting around and watching The City and gauging the philosophical implications of the latestTMI update. No, there’s going to be work involved. For instance:
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All the best socialites have tiny dogs, but my building doesn’t allow animals. Sometimes, when PR people/reporters come over, I’d like you to curl up in a wicker basket, and I will refer to you as “poodle.” It will make me seem down to earth.
Ever since I lined my yoga wear with mink, it has been super cozy! Unfortunately, it’s also super stinky. And I don’t trust dry cleaners because they steal. Baby tooth brushes clean most effectively, but wear gloves as I hear “the poors” (like you, poodle) carry disease.
You’ll be re-enacting gossip girl daily with marionettes, because the soap opera puppet channel just isn’t cutting it anymore.
Elle Magazine just informed me that “aristocratic Spanish ladies used to carry monkeys on their shoulders to make themselves look more bewitching by comparison”. You’ll be expected to provide your own rhesus suit for black tie galas. Don’t embarrass me. Make it a good rhesus monkey suit.
I’d like your help devising a new, Tinsley Mortimer style signature hair-do. I’m thinking something inspired by Marie Antoinette would be really, really appropriate right now.
I’m not taking these yellow/black monsters the peasants call “taxis” so you’ll be in charge of overseeing the team of bulbously muscled eunuchs that carry me from place to place. Actually being a eunuch not required (that’s what we call a “perk!”)
At night, you’ll be in charge of sitting by my side while I sleep and soothingly whispering “your fame game rank is rising, your fame game rank is rising.” If you are so moved, you may also make whale noises. But mostly, stick to the fame game thing.
Basically, I’m looking for anyone who majored in finance, and has strong, coat carrying arms.
Must be able to maneuver gift bag lines…these suckers run out quickly!
You will need to set up champagne parties solely for photo ops once a week.
Though we haven’t updated the technology yet, simply whispering Fame Game will soon increase your rank. One catch, you have to be in close proximity to flashbulbs.
Anonymous March 23, 2009 5:18pm
sorry but anyone whos interested in the random rich people on this site is a loser, not just that kid.
Did we forget that Adrien is a PAID writer and is actually pretty funny,and that Alexandra toured with Hairspray the musical…their accomplishments are notable,they deserve some credit,and have been set up with the fake ad…By whom Im not sure,but I AM sure that there are plenty of jealous people out there!
LMAO March 23, 2009 5:48pm
Re:Romopamo-hmmm someone has way to much time on their hands to know these two’s “accomplishments.”
LMAO March 23, 2009 5:50pm
and as for pay, am not sure that small tufts of road kill, that he then uses to stitch up his furs, really counts…..
Ashley March 23, 2009 10:50pm
Jessica, darling. Mink on yoga apparel? Your vapid, unskilled writing style and your sunken, empty face foreshadows the only lifestyle you could create for yourself (see: http://www.dabagirls.com/)
Congratulations on wasting the four year education your parents payed for.
“I want to work really hard and make my dreams come true…through my amazing music and shows..not through the latest NYC social scandal..”
-Alexandra Alexis latest status report on facebook
She’s a friend,and a smart girl…def did not create this crazy scandal…
this isn’t a scandal. Neither of them are important enough or attractive enough to make it a scandal. Ramopamo also seems very familiar with the qualities of both parties involved. this whole thing is digusting. and i love how they roped in julia allison, kristian laliberte, and the poor guys on the city into this. they don’t deserve that anymore than we do.
Fed up March 24, 2009 12:47am
First of all I Know for a fact Laliberte wrote the Craigslist piece; Despite any half-ass denial he email into gawker..
Too busy to write a 100 word piece.. Please honey you don’t even have a job or any real form of income. He’s 32 leaving off his parents still.
And as for these 2. Don’t even get met started. They’re in the same boat. Just give them a few years and they’ll be just as pathetic as Kristian.
P.S. They are all ugly with no discernible talent, intellect or novelty. They will all be forgotten soon. I just wish sites like Gawker would end it already(writing about them).
Um, Ashley… Who’s Jessica? Whoever she is, I’d advise you to limit commenting on people’s education until you can spell paid correctly.
Ashley March 24, 2009 1:23pm
Hilarious.
Also…
Other Ashley: someone already got you on snarking “Jessica’s” education with catty typos, but I just wanted to mention: doubling up all your nouns with adjectives like that is the junior college definition of “unskilled writing.” FAIL.
yourmomisNOThot March 24, 2009 1:28pm
FED up, you are a babbling moron. how would you know “FOR A FACT” that Kristian wrote the ad? were you with him when he did it, OR Oh, i got it, YOU MUST WORK FOR CRAIGSLIST. sounds like you’re an enterprising young troll aren’t you.
I love how idiots badmouth people without any real knowledge or justification.
Kristian is actually a good guy, and probably one of the most well connected people in this city. I’m sure if you ran into him personally you would turn your two face and try flatter him like every other babbling sell out tries to do.
Can’t we all get along? Kristian, I’ll always love you, Adrien and Alexandra, keep working those photographers . Speaking of, is that a flash bulb hovering over us?
Fed up March 24, 2009 3:15pm
@yourmomisNOThot… Kristian you mom is hot i did her last night.. and you clearly wrote it. Stop sceaming Kristian. You have like 8 different aliases on all these websites in which you pretend to be other people which like you. You full of shit and your a self serving fake asshole.
Anonymous April 11, 2009 4:51pm
Ashley’s point holds. Payed for paid… this site is a giant thinko.
Um, tbis article is hilarious. Lighten the fuck up, people.
Anonymous April 11, 2009 9:48pm
Seriously. Lighten the fuck up. I laughed my ass off reading the article. And I’m fairly sure Adrien enjoyed it as well. Pull that stick out of your ass.
Where: Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 Broadway, New York, NY (map)
Admission: Ticketed Event
Discription:
Theater Resources Unlimited (TRU) proudly announces the two honorees for their 8th annual TRU Love Benefit, which will be held on Sunday, November 8, 2009 from noon to 4pm at Caroline’s on Broadway, 1626 Broadway at 49th Street, NYC. Elysabeth Kleinhans of 59E59 Theatres will receive the TRU “Spirit of Theater” Award for her ongoing generosity towards TRU as well as the off-Broadway producing community in general; and Allan Buchman of Culture Project will be acknowledged with the TRU Humanitarian Award for his dedication to bringing politically and socially conscious works to life in New York theater, and successfully using the arts for social change.
The theme of this year’s benefit is “Opening Doors” in recognition of both the nurturing homes the honorees have provided for the development of new work and new opportunities; and for their dedication to keeping open doors of communication for political and international conversations in New York theater. The event will start with a cocktail hour at noon, followed by a full luncheon. Performances will include representative scenes and songs from shows developed at 59E59 or The Culture Project, including “Gutenberg the Musical”, Prospect Theater’s bluegrass musical” Golden Boy of Blue Ridge”, “Clean Alternatives” with writer Brian Dykstra and “The Exonerated” excerpts performed by celebrity guests. TRU will also present songs from upcoming musicals being developed by TRU producers. Nancy Anderson will perform a song from “Yank!”, the musical debuting off-Broadway in February 2010, and previewing a song from the upcoming Broadway musical “Pure Country”. In addition Brian Dykstra will perform a piece from his play “Clean Alternatives” and Radiotheatre will perform from one of their radio pieces.
The TRU Love “Opening Doors” Benefit will take place Sunday, November 8, 2009, at 12 noon, at Caroline’s on Broadway, 1626 Broadway at 49th Street, NYC, with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at noon, luncheon at 1pm and performances and awards ceremony starting at 2:15. Tickets are $175 for Premium Patron level seats in the first tier, $150 for Patron level 2nd tier and $100 for general admission. Tickets may be purchased at www.truonline.org/store-new.html. Inquiries may be made by phoning 212/714-7628 or emailing TRUnltd@aol.com.
For more information, visit www.truonline.org or call 212-714-7628.
Where: BARNES & NOBLE, 150 East 86th Street, New York, NY (map)
Admission: Open
Discription:
Barnes & Noble will host a book signing in celebration of the national launch of Park Avenue Potluck CELEBRATIONS, authored by members of The Society of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and New York Times food columnist Florence Fabricant. A POTLUCK of cider, sweets and other treats for the family celebration will be brought by many of the authors’ favorite purveyors including Eleni’s Cookies, Smithfield, Dean & DeLuca, Taste Caterers, William Poll, Williams-Sonoma, Gristedes, MrsMonogram.com and others.
A percentage of net sales of products in Barnes & Noble stores nationally will support ‘Kids Express’, an individualized program -- funded by The Society of MSKCC – designed to help adult cancer patients communicate with their children about their illness.
Where: La Venue and The Tunnel, 608 west 28th Street, New York, NY (map)
Admission: Ticketed Event
Discription:
California wine country is heading east to New York with the Robert Mondavi Discover Wine Tour. Ted Allen, Robert Mondavi Private Selection Brand Ambassador, is thrilled to engage consumers in the Big Apple with live cooking demonstrations at the Tour and to encourage foodies to open up about their food and wine questions. Additionally, guests are invited to join Robert Mondavi Private Selection’s Avram Deitch and other wine experts at the Robert Mondavi Discover Wine tour to learn anything and everything - from wine making to wine pairing.
Where: SVA Theater, 333 23rd st , New York, NY (map)
Admission: Invite Only
Discription:
Edward R. Pressman Alan & Gabe Polsky
and
First Look Studios
Eva Mendes
special screening of
BAD LIEUTENANT
PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS
A FILM BY WERNER HERZOG
screenplay by William Finkelstein
Holier than seriously commented on BREAKING! The Email Scandal That Just Shook Cornell’s Campus: "Seriously "..." bite me ftard: that IS what they get. The truth will out and the piper be paid. My house is quite normal and needs a little work from time to time, but I don't cheat on my wife and I..."
mike commented on BREAKING! The Email Scandal That Just Shook Cornell’s Campus: "Does anybody else think this looks a bit fake? The email trail is 62 messages ... if nothing else they clearly weren't doing much actual work that day. I'm wondering if we'll see this on snopes.co..."
NOT holier than thou commented on BREAKING! The Email Scandal That Just Shook Cornell’s Campus: "They are going to deal with enough criticism and embarrassment. They are two adults who have to face the consequences. If they want to be together, then they will be, unless this outing ruined the..."
comment on image in NYC Opera Theater Debut Red Carpet gallery:
"Tinsley who do you think you are? Camera crews following you around. I bet the whole opera audience was clueless as to who you are. Im glad GofG shows how things really are and doesn't just post..."
Were you lining up to work for Adrien Field after reading the Gawker piece about his “Intern Hunt” with partner Alexandra Alexis? Devastated by his denial of the item? No problem! While I do not have a web show (which actually seems kind of cute) I also have a novel that one day I might, maybe, get around to attempting to publish. However, as my intern, it won’t all be sitting around and watching The City and gauging the philosophical implications of the latest TMI update. No, there’s going to be work involved. For instance:
March 23, 2009 5:07pm
STILL 19. STILL IN NYU DORMS. STILL A LOSER. STILL FROM NARNIA. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NO MORE POSTS ON HIM!
It’s true.
Though we haven’t updated the technology yet, simply whispering Fame Game will soon increase your rank. One catch, you have to be in close proximity to flashbulbs.
March 23, 2009 5:18pm
sorry but anyone whos interested in the random rich people on this site is a loser, not just that kid.
Did we forget that Adrien is a PAID writer and is actually pretty funny,and that Alexandra toured with Hairspray the musical…their accomplishments are notable,they deserve some credit,and have been set up with the fake ad…By whom Im not sure,but I AM sure that there are plenty of jealous people out there!
March 23, 2009 5:48pm
Re:Romopamo-hmmm someone has way to much time on their hands to know these two’s “accomplishments.”
March 23, 2009 5:50pm
and as for pay, am not sure that small tufts of road kill, that he then uses to stitch up his furs, really counts…..
March 23, 2009 10:50pm
Jessica, darling. Mink on yoga apparel? Your vapid, unskilled writing style and your sunken, empty face foreshadows the only lifestyle you could create for yourself (see: http://www.dabagirls.com/)
Congratulations on wasting the four year education your parents payed for.
“I want to work really hard and make my dreams come true…through my amazing music and shows..not through the latest NYC social scandal..”
-Alexandra Alexis latest status report on facebook
She’s a friend,and a smart girl…def did not create this crazy scandal…
this isn’t a scandal. Neither of them are important enough or attractive enough to make it a scandal. Ramopamo also seems very familiar with the qualities of both parties involved. this whole thing is digusting. and i love how they roped in julia allison, kristian laliberte, and the poor guys on the city into this. they don’t deserve that anymore than we do.
March 24, 2009 12:47am
First of all I Know for a fact Laliberte wrote the Craigslist piece; Despite any half-ass denial he email into gawker..
Too busy to write a 100 word piece.. Please honey you don’t even have a job or any real form of income. He’s 32 leaving off his parents still.
And as for these 2. Don’t even get met started. They’re in the same boat. Just give them a few years and they’ll be just as pathetic as Kristian.
P.S. They are all ugly with no discernible talent, intellect or novelty. They will all be forgotten soon. I just wish sites like Gawker would end it already(writing about them).
Um, Ashley… Who’s Jessica? Whoever she is, I’d advise you to limit commenting on people’s education until you can spell paid correctly.
March 24, 2009 1:23pm
Hilarious.
Also…
Other Ashley: someone already got you on snarking “Jessica’s” education with catty typos, but I just wanted to mention: doubling up all your nouns with adjectives like that is the junior college definition of “unskilled writing.” FAIL.
March 24, 2009 1:28pm
FED up, you are a babbling moron. how would you know “FOR A FACT” that Kristian wrote the ad? were you with him when he did it, OR Oh, i got it, YOU MUST WORK FOR CRAIGSLIST. sounds like you’re an enterprising young troll aren’t you.
I love how idiots badmouth people without any real knowledge or justification.
Kristian is actually a good guy, and probably one of the most well connected people in this city. I’m sure if you ran into him personally you would turn your two face and try flatter him like every other babbling sell out tries to do.
Can’t we all get along? Kristian, I’ll always love you, Adrien and Alexandra, keep working those photographers . Speaking of, is that a flash bulb hovering over us?
March 24, 2009 3:15pm
@yourmomisNOThot… Kristian you mom is hot i did her last night.. and you clearly wrote it. Stop sceaming Kristian. You have like 8 different aliases on all these websites in which you pretend to be other people which like you. You full of shit and your a self serving fake asshole.
April 11, 2009 4:51pm
Ashley’s point holds. Payed for paid… this site is a giant thinko.
Um, tbis article is hilarious. Lighten the fuck up, people.
April 11, 2009 9:48pm
Seriously. Lighten the fuck up. I laughed my ass off reading the article. And I’m fairly sure Adrien enjoyed it as well. Pull that stick out of your ass.