If you've ever been to a religious ceremony, motivational speech, or a really shitty intervention, you've probably heard some variation of the question, "what would you do if you knew today was your last day to live?" In the context of these awful speeches, the answer is invariably that you would, or should, spend that last night praying to Jesus/Yahweh/Allah/Krishna/Xenu, or that you should run around giving tearful hugs to everyone you've ever said hello to. With all due respect to those who think these are good ideas, these are both terrible ideas. As The Cobra Snake and I agree, if you only have one night left to live, you'd better throw a really kick-ass party. More»

This weekend, I plan on attending my first large-scale outdoor bar crawl and subsequent BBQ party of the year. If the weather stays the way it's been going, there's probably also an even-money bet that I'll be jumping into a pool sometime in the next 72 hours. Which is awesome, right? See, I know in the backlash-fueled world of internet comedy writing, there's some case to be made for why summer sucks. Oh, there's little kids at the beach, and I can't get my favorite table at Red Lobster, and there's no new episodes of SVU! More»

Go HERE for more photos from Ardy Ala and tag yourself and your friends!

"Sub-standard" isn't a term that gets thrown around as a compliment too often. In fact, Sub Standard Fridays (which, from now on, will be moving to Saturdays) at The Standard Hollywood, a weekly party featuring "Dancey Sex Music From Space," 2 for 1 well drinks, and exploitation films on the big screen, may be the first time in LA nightlife that "sub-standard" has been used exclusively as a compliment. But that's not to say we don't have plenty of Sub Standard experiences on a daily basis! More»

Go HERE for more photos by Brent Harrison and tag yourself and your friends!

Unless your grandma tours with a heavy metal band, you've probably found your opinion of Bingo somewhat altered by the phenomenon that is Underground Rebel Bingo. After all, most of the retirement communities in Boca Raton tend to conduct their Bingo nights without the sex, drugs and rock n' roll that make bingo, y'know, not so freaking boring. But why stop at Bingo? After all, life is jam packed with awful, boring activities that are crying out for the "Underground Rebel" treatment. A few suggestions... More»

In the turmoil of modern American politics, it is a rare day when people of all ideologies can come together to celebrate a military action that is universally justifiable and makes us all safer. But yesterday was that rare day, as President Obama revealed that we had finally brought justice to Osama bin Laden. I assume Americans of all views greeted this historic news as a moment of sober catharsis and somber reflection on the emotional, political and human damage done in the name of war over the last 10 years, right? More»

Go HERE for more photos by Andrew Whelan and tag yourself and your friends!

Old people! It never really looks like they're having that much fun, does it? Whether it's reading Newsweek (that magazine still exists, right?) with a magnifying glass or filling their refrigerators with batteries, our nation's elderly have perfected the art of making all tasks seem like laborious chores. Even golf, once that most noble of ways for rich white people to escape their hellish families and drink all day, is now the exclusive purview of those nearly too feeble to lift their clubs. Well, we'll let Great-Uncle Cornelius hang on to golf for the time being, because we've got bigger plans: we're taking Bingo back with the Underground Rebel Bingo Club. More»

In the modern era, manliness is a complex social concept, wrought with misconception. The classic hallmarks of the "real man": fearlessness, strength, and leadership are no longer in steady supply. The classic lion of an Alpha Male has taken a backseat to the contemporary Alpha Male, whose skill set tends to evoke more of an obese house cat: cynicism, a degree of comfort with intimate public grooming, and a willingness to eat lasagna off of the floor. But is one form of masculinity more valid than the next? And what does the future hold? As we ventured to Echoplex to see MEN, we were looking for answers. More»

Go HERE for more photos by  Olivia Gossett and tag yourself and your friends!

It's been a little while since we last donned our safari hats and did a little in-the-field dance floor anthropology work. Today's lesson takes us back to La Cita, where the eclectic downtown crowds are always willing to demonstrate Dance Floor Sign Language in its natural habitat. And we're in for an even better treat: now that they trust us, they've broken out the mustaches, each of which also carries a special significance and hidden meaning. Let's explore! More»