eavesdropping (2)

Now you can "divorce with dignity." High fives for everyone. [NYDN]
In case you missed it, Mel Gibson is not a horrible person. Instead, he is a super-horrible person. [Radar]
Accused spy's sister dated diplomat's son. Convoluted! [Post]
New York is disgusting. There's no escape. [WSJ]
Also, NYC wants you to come here and get old. The WHO agrees. [NYT]
Lindsay Lohan's birthday might be way sad, because "there's nothing you can do with a monitoring bracelet and no money." Troof. [TMZ]

Constantine Maroulis (Broadway "star" and briefly Tinsley Mortimer's "boyfriend") has impregnated a chorus girl coworker. High five for being . . . potent, Constantine. [HuffPo]
Hulu wants you to pay money. Bad Hulu. [NYDN]
Al Pacino's in "Merchant of Venice" at Shakespeare in the Park. It's free, and apparently better than his movie version. Let's all go heckle. [NYT]
Chinese propaganda infiltrating Times Square. [WSJ]
Vampires are chasing cars now. [Jezebel]

6-time July 4th Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest champ Takeru Kobayashi may not return to defend his title because of contract negotiations. [NYDN]
Russian spies all over New York! [Post]
New Papaya King ruling cabal in place. [NYMag]
Tourists love Forever 21 more than they love the Statue of Liberty. [WSJ]
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green just got married. That sound you hear is the teary ululation of millions of teenage boys. [TMZ]

Prince Harry was thrown off a horse in Central Park. [Post]
"Play Me, I'm Yours" public art pianos are the newest hot wedding accessory [NYDN]
Bubble Battle in Times Square! [Gothamist]
NY Pols are pot-tastic. [NYMag]
Stonewall riots veteran is quite elderly and super adorable. Then she reminisces about punching people so hard the stones in her rings fall out. [NYT]
Goodbye forever, W train. [WSJ]

Times Square bomber pleads guilty. That was easy. Except it wasn't. Because he almost blew up a car in Times Square. [Post]
Only Attorney General Andrew Cuomo could start out giving a conference on blocking child pornography and blunder into questions about his youthful pot-smoking. Rock on, Cuomo. [NYDN]
Don't shoplift in Chinatown or Flushing, for the punishment's worse than the crime. [NYT]
Tim Gunn dares to talk smack about Anna Wintour. [Observer]
The Mister Softee jingle will never not make Mayor Mike "John Wayne" Bloomberg freak out. [WSJ]
The Naked Cowboy is in a throwdown with the Naked Cowgirl. [Post]

NYU Abu Dhabi plays hard to get with students across the globe. [NYT]
The highest and lowest priced apartments on the UES are both penthouses; you can pay 135 thou or 60 mil. [Post]
Oh no: 70,000 blue balls (ha! We salute you for getting to that first, Daily News) of mozzarella recalled in Italy. [NYDN]
Sotheby's is auctioning an amazing collection of photographs from the Polaroid Connection. FYI: they are not actually polaroids. [WSJ]
The magic of product placement means that Mickey Mouse used to sell speed. No haha, this is real. [BoingBoing]

Catherine Zeta-Jones regrets being "crass" at the Tonys, even though she said something that only our grandma thinks is racy. [NYDN]
Indictment for John Haggerty, Mayor Bloomberg's right-hand man who got handsy with Mayor Bloomberg's cash. [Post]
Blown glass art representations of deadly viruses are controversial. [NYT]
Short-lived Yankees mascot has hidden past, unflattering silhouette. [WSJ]
The Situation wants everyone to know he's a baller, and it's making MTV producers angry. [TMZ]

Marc Anthony wasn't the first choice for Puerto Rican Day Parade King. Also, he had to ride in a little golf cart. And it rained. And everyone keeps asking how he managed to snare J.Lo. It's hard to be Marc Anthony. [Post]
Scarlett Johanssen just won a Tony. Really, guys, really? [NYDN]
Developers love Chinatown, and everyone's. freaking. out. [WSJ]
Albert Trummer, pyro-boss of Apotheke, is in big trouble. [NYT]
New Yorker covers Bonnaroo, mostly complains that "it's very hot here." [New Yorker]

Wanna be Lindsay Lohan's personal assistant? She's hiring. [TMZ]
. . . And Donald Trump may be hiring Lindsay Lohan herself. Or so says Dina. [NYDN]
Colombo underboss John "Sonny" Franzese got into a screaming match with his ex in a courthouse men's room. Classy. [Post]
Obama's pushing a tanning tax, and Snooki thinks he's targeting the Jersey Shore kids specifically. [WSJ]
Bloomberg's cracking down on truancy and the possibility of an end to free MTA student rides looms ever larger. However, students still have their youth, while we withered adults also can't play hooky and always have to pay for transpo. So shut up, kids, and go get us another wine cooler. [NYT]
Lady Gaga freaked out at Citifield yesterday. Whether it was an actual freak-out or performance art remains to be seen. [Post]

Chefs are angry and uncompromising artisans. Don't cross them or they will complain to the Post about you. [Post]
Spike Lee pals around with Brooklyn bloggers, and all in the name of vodka. [WSJ]
If the courts give you victory when you refuse to wear your new ID because it bears "the mark of the beast," don't blow it by dropping the case before damages are awarded. [NYT]
Shady and possibly illegal demolition plans for Bowery historic building [Curbed]
Apparently Bethenny's Real Housewives spinoff sucks. [NYDN]

eavesdropping