• The endless debate on regulating binge and underage drinking on college campuses continues. Let’s discuss. Over cocktails. [NYT]

• Plans to open a Whole Foods in Brooklyn fall through. Overpriced fruit flown in via a ginormous carbon footprint plane is just another reason why Manhattan is the best borough. I like peaches from Chile, thank you very much. [BrooklynPaper]

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• Michael Jackson’s funeral service got off to a late start this morning in Los Angeles. The spectacle included performances by Jennifer Hudson, John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Stevie Wonder, and others. [WaPo]

• Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a chemist in St. Petersburg, Florida for allegedly stealing the tanning spray formula for her line, Sevin Nyne. [NYMag]

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• The hottest ticket in town is a funeral? Um, yes! Los Angeles gears up for the Michael Jackson Memorial. [NYT]

• Scores asks media whore Barbi Heidi Montag Pratt to strip. What a stretch. [Urbanite]

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• Watch out fashion world, Kelly Killoren Bensimon is back to stealing designs designing jewelry. Bensimon’s inspiration for her new line came from the Navajo, which made her “want to take Pocahantas out of the kayak and putting her into the disco.” [W]

• Say goodbye to the Keith Haring tribute on the corner of Bowery and Houston. The mural that was unveiled in April 2008 was whitewashed today. [Gothamist]

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• A collection of labels and artists have filed a lawsuit against the LES dive bar, Pianos, for having the nerve to play hits like “Sayin’Alive” without permission. [CityFile]

• Justin Timberlake launches new womenswear line…but his fashionista satisfaction will only be reached if Michelle Obama sports these new bodacious blue jeans. [Telegraph]

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• Aha! A new, kinda dive bar is opening in the Meatpacking, and of course, no one can just wait till it’s ready, we need to see it now! [Eater]

• This subway map of NYC laid out over male anatomy is surprisingly accurate - we all knew the biggest concentration of dickheads really is in the FiDi [IllustrationArt via Curbed]

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• In case you missed the memo, Oprah is on Twitter, and she’s gotten her first snarky IT guy response [NedHepburn]

• NYLON magazine is launching a record label with newly signed act The Plasticines debuting on iTunes [NYLON]

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• The Plumm is no more. Mr. Ashman, please pick up your things, do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars (actually, your creditors would like to collect about 100 thou themselves) [Observer]

• Oh goody! Gwyneth Paltrow’s blind item about a “frenemy” on her Goop website will give us something to discuss all weekend! Who could it be? [NYP]

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• The day is looking like really Spring is here, and seeing the Xylopholks makes it even brighter [NYMag]

• The Kelly Cutrone reality show has a name, “Kell on Earth” (really!!), but does present a conundrum - whose cameras get first dibs, hers or Whitney Port’s? [Fashionista]

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• Okay people, he’s not THAT stupid.  Eliot Spitzer is NOT running again, for anything, he says [Gothamist]

• No matter how bad the real estate market out East gets (down 42%, oh noes!), we will bravely march on to the Hamptons this summer! [NYP]

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• Which of these thumping Monday dance parties are you just waking up from now? None? Well, use this handy list to do better next week [BlackBook]

• Julia Allison goes home (Chicago, if you don’t remember) for the holidays, gives sadfaced Bears QB Jay Cutler a lapdance, because he liked her headband [Twitter, and NYP]

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