Essentially Emily

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[Photo via Getty Images]

Aww Emily. We tried to ignore you, to announce your irrelevance, even to stop reading you. But we failed...miserably. When we're left with nothing to write about save for our old jokes on DBTH counting his baseball cards, you were there. You were there when we needed fodder for a Rose Bar post, information about the small catfights going on uptown that we wish we didn't care about, and, more importantly, you were (and are) there to make our lives easier. Often times, with you, the jokes write themselves...which is why we just can't quit you. On to your most recent post:

"Brace yourselves. Confession: I can pretty much pinpoint my origin on the ‘circuit’ to the Whitney Studio Party, so if when people ask me when this all began, I guess you could call tonight a one-year anniversary, This really was my first night out on the town after losing the weight–can you believe it?"

More story and photos below:

DBTH is becoming more "Brill-ish" by the minute. Emily Brill-ish that is. He"s like the downtown equivalent of the UES blogger except she is less whiny than him...essentially. (And isn"t it saying a lot when you"re more whiny than an UES trust fund 20 something blond?) Well they have a lot more in common than not getting into the Eldridge. Both have quite the loyal followers that love creating drama in the comment section, and, today we LOVED what we were reading on DBTH"s.

In regards to the post "Bungalow 2.0" in which Scott once again reused OUR photo (without credit), DBTH tries to devalue Bungalow 8 because of an invite he came across for a party at the lounge on Facebook (it was a closed invite). What we learn from his "faithful" commenters is that, not only is this a NON issue, but Sundays really are the new Saturdays (as we told you), and, more importantly, that they are sick of hearing about the "non cool" areas from Scott (um...finally?!). Also, they resoundingly agree on their love of Bungee. Anyway, click below to read some of my favorites: More»

From our inbox:

"Heard D.Rose crying over the latest blogger on Brills website. Someone named 'the real duchess' claimed their identity was taken by Rose. Copied and pasted below: IF this person exists, find out who it is. hysterical drama ensues on the ues."

WARNING: What follows is some very elaborate Upper East Side ramblings and cat fights that may be hazardous to your heath. Our favorite is around12:48 by "28katielynn":

"Oh my god what in THE hell are you people talking about?"

Sounds about right. Click below for full transcript.

Apparently The Eldridge was THE place to be last night. Or at least Emily Brill aka essentiallyemily.com thought so. She decided to meet some "friends" at the newest LES hotspot The Eldridge when she encountered gridlock in midtown. What she left out was that she had quite a bit of trouble getting in. From a tipster this morning:

"I saw Emily Brill begging Naeem to get let inside the doors at The Eldridge for over 40 minutes last night. She kept pleading, making phone calls (presumably to "friends" inside). He finally let her in I was told, probably because he couldn't stand the pestering any longer. When she did finally get in she was drunk as a skunk."

Looks like Essentially Emily is missing the ESSENTIAL Eldridge entry card, and from the sounds of it, she has just ruined her chances of ever getting one. What is a socialite to do without her essentials?