• Color us surprised.  Goldman Sachs holds substantial stake in an underage sex-trafficking website. [NYTimes]
• Be prepared to never sleep again- the rapid decline of Lindsay Lohan's face. [Dlisted]
• Bizarrely eloquent drunk guy belts out awe-inspiring rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody." In the backseat of a cop car. [Deadspin] More»

Today I check in on #OccupyWallSt, I watch Oprah teach Rosie how to take a tequila shot, and Herman Cain sing about pizza. There's Mario Batali's personal food porn, a new Gilt Home site, and Hunter S. Thompson's secret hangover cure and more all in today's reading list!

• On top of bankruptcy fraud, a luxury car scheme, possession of cocaine and ecstasy charges, Lenny Dykstra is charged with placing ads on Craigslist for housekeepers whom he exposed himself to during work. [LATimes]
• Rumored couple and co-stars of The Amazing Spider-Man Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield spotted having date night at Nobu in Malibu. [TMZ]

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• Ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner is planning to head to an "intensive" rehab program to deal with his penchant for sending women lewd photos of himself before he looks for a new job. [NYP]
• Tumblr has been haunted by a phishing scam that has gained access to thousands of accounts on the microblogging site over the past few days. [MSNBC] More»

• Birther scandal! There is new evidence that Sarah Palin is not Trig's real mother. [BusinessInsider]
• Goldman Sachs may have criminally misled its clients, the Senate’s Subcommittee on Investigations has concluded. [Bloomberg] More»

• Authorities reopen the investigation into the 13-year-old cold case L.A. murder of Notorious B.I.G. [PE]
• In what might be one of the dumbest moves in the history of stupid, a CA man who had just pilfered a computer from Walmart walks back into the store to report his car stolen to cops, actually repo'ed while inside, and gets arrested [KABC]
• "Entourage" Update: creator Doug Ellin wants to get a storyline involving Amar'e Stoudemire in the upcoming final season [Post]
• Jon Stewart goes off on Facebook's hypocrisy for avoiding transparency when its purpose is to share information, un-friends Goldman Sachs [HuffPo]
• With the help of a lawyer, Camille Grammer negotiates an out from her "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" contract with Bravo after being portrayed as hateable. At least she knows it! [TMZ]

• Since raising a reported $500 million from Goldman Sachs and a Russian investment firm, Facebook's estimated valuation is $50 billion, with a "b" [HuffPo]
• After partying all over L.A. like a frat boy with nothing to lose for the last couple of months, David Arquette enters rehab for alcohol abuse [Post]
• Speculation abounds over the mysterious New Year's Eve mass death of more than 1,000 blackbirds that fell from the sky over Arkansas [LATimes]
• Move over, Beyonce, there's an even bigger booty with a club banger on the scene now: are you ready for Kim Kardashian, the pop star? [PE]
• As of today she's completed her court-mandated stint in rehab, but Lindsay Lohan may voluntarily extend her stay in treatment [TMZ]

• With special bday calls from ex-Beatle Paul McCartney and a star-studded bday bash, ex-President Clinton sure is living large in the Hamptons... [HuffPo]
• ...meanwhile current President Barack Obama is busy taking a relaxing vacation (or, ahem, "snooze fest" as it's been called) on Martha's Vineyard. [WashPo]
• And while Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein shows off a Phelps-worthy flip turn, winning this weekend's (ultra-secretive?) Southampton Bath & Tennis Club Swim-a-Thon... [NYObserver]
• ...the rest of Wall Street returns from the Hamptons to a far from optimistic autumn outlook. [MktWatch]

• The only way Lindsay Lohan has a chance of not being arrested is if she can get on a flight from Cannes (highly unlikely due to volcanic ash), where she's busy partying and being a non-contributor promoting her Linda Lovelace film, and be back in L.A. in time for her court hearing on Thursday [TMZ]
• Sean Penn is much, much too busy with hearings on Haiti and flirting with models at Miami clubs into the wee hours to be bothered with attending that silly Cannes thing where he has a movie premiering [NYPost]
• Oh, snap! Mayor Villaraigosa totally went there yesterday before the Game 1 of the Lakers-Suns Western Conference Finals, offering a wager to Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon and adding, "...we look forward to welcoming Steve [Nash] to our team the next time he forgets to carry his passport with him" [KTLA]
• Watch out Wall Street, mega-producer Joel Silver is suing Goldman Sachs for upwards of $30 million, a sum which the Hollywood heavyweight claims the firm has failed to pay according to the terms of an agreement made in 2007 [THR]
• Kitson, the famed Robertson boutique that's multiplied with several new locations, has filed a lawsuit against its own accessories licensee for selling cheap knockoffs of the brand's signature bags bearing its trademark [WWD]