-Zach Braff to David Letterman on "The Late Show" via

Um, no offense, Zach, but it's not like everyone was clamoring for a weekend getaway to Jersey before Snooki came and tainted our impression of the immaculate state.  You should actually be proud Snickers reps your homeland -- where else but Jersey could she have cultivated that unrivaled poof of glory?

Zach Braff

[Photo via]

• Sandra Bullock kissed Scarlett Johansson at the MTV Video Music Awards, and everyone was like, "Ahhh! One lady has never kissed another lady before!" [TMZ]
• NJ terrorists talk like dim surfer kids. Which, we guess, means that dim surfer kids talk like terrorists. [NYDN]
• Anthony Bourdain is still our favorite silver fox/food writer/sassbucket [Post]
• For unions, inflatable rat is out, shrill sounds are in. [WSJ]
• Bernie Madoff: Prison folk hero. [NYMag]

• You can go home again: Superdive leaves East Village, probably heading to Murray Hill. [Eater]
• Crap. Is the Coney Island boardwalk about to turn concrete? [NYP]
• Helpful subway etiquette signs torn down by the MTA. [1010]
• Even the Roosevelt Island tram would rather not be on Roosevelt Island. [NickMcGlynn]
• Shepard Fairey's spanking new Houston Street mural gets tagged. [AnimalNY]
• Somehow, How To Make It In America got renewed. [Deadline]
• Network announces New Jersey couture reality show.  Series about North Dakota's gangsta rap scene to follow. [DailyMusto]

• Hedwig and the Angry Inch set for Broadway revival. Thank you, Lady Gaga hermaphrodite rumors? [Vulture]
• The only thing better than an egg cream is an alcoholic egg cream. [Jeremiah's]
• Judge exposes NYC porn shop loophole. [NYP]
• New Jersey residents ashamed to admit they live there lead to low census turnout. [1010]
• Degenerate gamblers might get gambling terminals in their degenerate bars. [NYDN]
• Did Hooters open a Hamptons branch or did April Fool's come early? [Gawker]

• Man makes Mario figure out of toast, putting whole new spin on carbo loading [BloggingViaTypewriter]
• Speaking of carbs, a New Jersey lady is eating 12,000 calories a day with the goal of becoming world's fattest woman. [DailyMail]
• The Tribeca Film Festival lineup takes shape. [NYP}
• If these beer halls could talk: a fascinating look at 150 years in the life of one Bowery building. [NYT]
• Drunk teens cause $200,000 worth of damage at high school kegger. Rock star potential, kids. [1010]
• Scorsese to meet Borat/Bruno/Ali G in his next movie. [Deadline]
• Billboard announcing New York's bedbug epidemic rises above Times Square strip club. Puts you in the mood, no? [Wirehead's Flickr]
• I woke up with the power out...[NYDN]
• Even classy Hollywood couples are bound to divorce: Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes are donezo. [EW]

• New York City parents: still pains in the ass. [CityRoom]
• Harlem Chuck E. Cheese adds Shutter Island-level security measures. [NYP]
• It looks like Alice In Wonderland is gonna be massive. Good, because Tim Burton and Jonny Depp were really struggling. [Deadline]
• Dolphins are making the East River look like the Flipper Returns set. [Gothamist]
• NJ Transit riders can expect across-the-board fare hikes. All for the privilege of getting to and from...Jersey. [NYT]
• Check out the 35 Best Dance Sequences in movies. Don't dance along. [Flavorwire
• Hot dogs might be the next lowly food item to sweep NYC. And I support that. [Province]

Real Housewife of New Jersey and memoirist Danielle Staub hosted a screening of The Lovely Bones at the Paramount Screening Room last night. Afterward, she talked to me about her upcoming book, her unhappy Garden State housewife nemeses, Haiti, her immunity to hangovers and the possibility of a cooking challenge with fellow Jersey girl Snooki. More»

Last night and the night before, a horde of Manhattanites left the island and ventured to East Rutherford, NJ, for the U2 concert at Giants Stadium. The enormous sets made for quite the visual spectacle as ecotarian Bono and his legendary band performed for a full venue of 80,000 shoulder-to-shoulder fans, a mix proving that the group transcends age (and state lines). There were so many attendees that train traffic following the show was almost three fold, as nearly 20,000 riders set a record against the typical 7,000 person flow. Clogged for hours, trips added to the normal run schedule did nothing to prevent extended waits to get home. More»