Today’s Page Six is reporting that Lydia Hearst, daughter of Patty Hearst, (and heir to William Randolph Hearst’s fortune), has escaped death. Apparently Hearst told them that she “almost died” in her sleep at the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood last night when the old-fashioned gas oven in her suite was left on overnight. Hearst asked the hotel to turn the oven off after she saw “the misty, shaky air pour out.” She’s in L.A. promoting her “Lydia” bag for Puma. “Of course, I’ll stay here again,” Hearst said. “But can you imagine if I was found dead, naked in bed? It would have been me and John Belushi who died here!”

Wait a minute (head scratch), isn’t CO2, the gas that kills you both odorless and colorless? Furthermore, since when have socialites become so completely helpless that they can’t turn off a stove on their own?!