- Justin Bieber ran into a glass wall in Paris. [TMZ]

- Be wary of what you share on Facebook. Due to the site's new algorithm, one unfortunate user had the pleasure of looking like he was endorsing a 55-gallon barrel of personal lubricant. [NYT]

- Our fears last week of a zombie apocalypse were completely unfounded- people eat other people on a regular basis. [NYMag] More»

-Did Lana del Rey record a secret album? Probably not, but the name May Jailer sounds mad-lib enough to be Lana. I mean Lizzy. [Vulture]

- A 6-year-old spelling bee contestant, the youngest ever, was sadly eliminated after flubbing the word "ingluvies." I mean...[Week]

- The real Colonel Sanders actually loathed KFC. [Gawker]

- I hope you're sitting down. A Maryland college student allegedly ate the heart and brain of his roommate. [HuffPost] More»

Today, Alex told us about how his friends plan to survive the looming zombie apocalypse. Then he said the zombie outbreak already happened since, among other reasons, it's the only way to make sense of Mickey Rourke. Maybe he's right. More»

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If the current glut of zombie games, movies and parties like local rock band Saint Motel's 3^rd annual Zombie Prom with White Arrows tells us anything, it's that we're closer than we've ever been to a zombie apocalypse. Many people, including several of my otherwise sensible friends, seem almost eager for this, under the assumption that they, somehow, possess a so-far untapped survival instinct that will render them more capable than most of making it through a nationwide plague of the walking dead. My friends are idiots. More»