The Ultimate American Horror Story Drinking Game

by Stephanie Maida · September 14, 2016

It's finally everybody's favorite time of the year - American Horror Story season. Sure, there's no Emma Roberts or Jessica Lange this time around (as far as we know - we actually don't know anything), but the mysterious new installment is sure to be a thriller. For the first time, even the trailers don't hint at the theme, so folks, we're going into this blind. Blind, and hopefully drunk. Grab your favorite bottle of liquor and mix up a creepy cocktail for tonight's big premiere. If you follow our directions, you'll be too tipsy to get scared. 

-Drink whenever you hear child's laughter

-Drink at any mention of a "haunting"

-Take a shot whenever Gaga's on screen

-Drink whenever a clown/doctor/farmer appears

-Finish your drink when Evan Peters does something scary-sexy

-Drink during any strange sexual encounter

-Drink whenever someone on screen does

-Take a shot every time there's a reference to past seasons

-Drink whenever Kathy Bates hits on someone

-Drink whenever someone dies

-Finish your drink whenever someone you're watching with needs to throw up

-Drink during every flashback

-Drink whenever someone gets mutilated

-Take a shot during every instance of truly gruesome/graphic imagery

-Drink whenever someone on screen is doing drugs

-Smoke a cigarette whenever someone on screen is smoking a cigarette

-Finish your drink if anyone visits a mental hospital

-Drink whenever a creepy doll is on screen

-Drink whenever someone has mommy issues

-Take a shot whenever someone drinks blood

-Drink whenever you confuse Matt Bomer and Finn Wittrock

-Finish the bottle if Stevie Nicks makes an appearance (not likely, sorry)

[Photo via @ahsfx]