Now You Can Hear Monica Lewinsky's Sexy Talk

STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING! MONICA LEWINSKY'S SEX TAPE IS HERE! I repeat, the infamous Monica Lewinsky tape is here!

Well, kinda.

The National Enquirer kept up their tradition of hard-hitting journalism by obtaining an audio of Lewinsky doing some dirty talk to Bill Clinton.

Via NY Daily News:

Lewinsky is heard trying to persuade Clinton to meet with her, seemingly desperate for another go. “I could take my clothes off and start. . . . I hope to see you later and I hope you will follow my script and do what I want,” Lewinsky says on tape, according to the unconfirmed report.

Lewinsky addresses the tape to someone named "Handsome" -- definitely a better porno-pseudonym than Carlos Danger.

What's most impressive about the entire tape is Lewinsky's logistics for the sexual escapade:

“Now the first thing that has to happen is that you need to preplan with Betty that you will leave the office at, I don’t know, at 7, 7:30, so that everyone else who hates me that causes me lots of trouble goes home,” she reportedly says on the tape.

Now that's what I call planning. Gurl def knew what she was doing.

The audio tape was believed to be destroyed back in the 90s but, like a good old-fashioned #TBT, it has resurfaced.

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