John McCain Is Looking Out For The Strippers

by Kyle O'Donnell · July 25, 2013

Finally a heartwarming story about Republicans and strip clubs. While George W. Bush may "not care about black people," it is clearly evident that John McCain cares about the ladies flaunting what their mamas (or plastic surgeons) gave 'em.

According to The Hill, McCain saw a bright-side to the possibility of creating $1 coins in lieu of paper bills. Daniel Harris, owner of esteemed Archibald's Gentlemen Club here in the District, worried that the change to change would hurt his dancers financially (and probably physically -- coins can do serious damage to sensitive areas.)

McCain retorted that the coins would only be an incentive to give out larger bills. After all, who wants to put a coin down a naked ladies pants like she's a parking meter when you can dehumanize her by giving her cash like vending machine? GIRL WANTS DAT PAPER, SON!!!

Honestly, strippers should really just use Pay-Pal. It would save sooo much time.

[image via]