A Tale Of Two Brunches: Gossip Girl Reprises Our Favorite Meal

by MAGGIE HUNTER · January 13, 2009

    [Bass Brunch vs. Merkato's Brunch]

    We are die hard brunch fans here at GofG. Recently, we have become even more excited about the meal, given the emergence of the Party Brunch genre at hotspots Merkato 55 and Bagatelle. The masterminds behind these mid-day fetes have proposed that there is absolutely no better way to beat those recession (and weather) blues than a cocktail or two midday. We concur with the late Bart Bass that the pre-noon hours might be a good time to lose the scotch, but in place of that, we say bring on the champagne!

    This week, Gossip Girl tapped into our brunch obsession by treating us to a delicious re-appearance of the Annual Bass Brunch at the Palace.

    Read on for a trip down memory lane, inspired by the night that left us wondering: Can You Reserve Eclairs??

    As we watched, we reminisced about the humble beginnings of this great show and realized how far -or not so far-our beloved characters have come since last year. This week's episode gave us the scurrilous subterfuge of devious Bostonians, teenage faghaggery, not-actually-incest, and real men who wear purple. But for us, the Return of the Brunch was the best of the assorted plot lines.

    Gossip Girl's Then And Now (complete with lox, capers, and champagne):

    1) Chuck: From Black Eye To Black Balled

    Last year at brunch, Dan Humphrey swung his crude Brooklyn fist at Chuck Bass, as revenge for his rapey  actions against his sister less than 24 hours before. This week, poor Chuckles was played, bad, by the scheming yet sexy Jack Bass. This avuncular menace tricked Chuck into a night of booze and hooker filled debauchery, in order to reveal his true bad boy colors to the Bass Industries board members, who swiftly removed the seventeen-year-old lad from head of his late father's company. Looks like brunch is still not kind to Chuck Bass.

    2) Dan: Still My Brother's Mother's Secret-Keeper

    Shit: both of these annual brunches found Dan Humphrey keeping a (albeit completely legitimate) secret about Lily from Serena! Back in fall of 2007, Lily accused Dan of "lurking in the shadows", spying on her and old leather face Bart Bass, but he quickly assured her that he would forget what he had seen. This year, Gossip Girl has upped the ante in the secret department, as our 2009 brunch sees Dan hiding the far more dramatic news that he shares a sibling with his girlfriend. Gossip Girl seems to think that "a sibling" is somehow interchangeable with "DNA", which is untrue, but still. A nicely OMFG secret.

    3) Blair: En Route To Total Insanity

    Oh Leighton Meester you have truly been the shining star of this season for us, as your amazing ability to emote with only your cheeks continues to wow us. Blair has come a long way since last year's brunch, where she attempted to sabotage her then former BFF Serena's budding love with Dan in one hand while mocking a young man's cabbage patch doll named Cedric in the other. We saw yesterday that this type of Mean Girl behavior is now completely behind Blair, as she blew off the Plastics to tend to sad young Chuck. But hark! Blair's front of maturity is certainly tenuous at best. We are waiting for the moment when Blair cracks and goes completely off her gourd-it's gotta be coming soon.

    4) Little J: From Social-climbing Diva to The Gays' Third Wheel

    Little J has certainly come a long way from last year's brunch to which she was not even invited! Though her hair has downgraded. This year sees her with a new Gay Best Friend, memories two-second fashion career, and a new attitude towards her former social climbing ways. Last week, she busted out the  famous Humphrey moral superiority, giving up her once coveted Queen B crown for some squeaky-clean hot chocolate with Eric.  It was just last brunch that Blair gave Jenny that blue Eleanor Waldorf dress and warned her of the price of success, and she's already decided it's not worth it. Hopefully Jenny's A-list time isn't completely up, as we enjoyed watching her grasp and flail.

    5) Bart Bass: Sleeping with the fishes

    The most obvious difference of the brunches is that of the absence of Senior Bass. More importantly to us, however, no Bart Bass means no rehiring of the nearly nude statues. And that is a damn shame.

    Next week, Columbia Yale resurfaces! We can't wait! We aren't saying that we take notes or anything, but we'll certainly be watching closely.