Jersey Shore's Jenni Woww Can Now Add ___ To Her Resume

by Cary Randolph Fuller · January 19, 2010

    Much has been said about the cast of Jersey Shore and most of it negative, but one thing is sure: These kids know how to carpe their fifteen minutes of fame. Jenni "J-Woww" Farley, aspiring Stella or Donatella, has rounded out her clothing line with a host of other ventures!

    In addition to slinging cropped halters in a spectrum of candy colors, Long Island's fiercest punch-throwing guidette calls herself an artist and marketing executive vice president. Proof of her passion:

    "Among her many talents, art and Graphic Design stand out above all. Her company takes on leading competitors in the main stream of Graphic Art! Just look at this site!!!!" (All typographical errors courtesy of J-Woww's copy editor.)

    J-Woww is also altrustic: Note her generous offer to use fans and customers as models should they contribute photos of themselves wearing these "edgy" and "sexy" tops. I'm almost tempted to do so, but how could my, um, assets compete with J-Woww's? I'll stick to sending photos of myself wearing Kool-Aid colored dresses to the Lilly Pulitzer website for that brief shot of fame.

    What other gems did we dig up on J-Woww's site? Valentine's Day is right around the corner so here's a gift guide based solely on the treats for sale on JenniFarley dot com:

    Hire J-Woww to design a custom website for your sweetheart! Graphic design is her first love.

    Or how about some romantic business cards?

    Your Prince Charming will love a tasteful J-Woww poster tacked above his bed, frat house-style.

    Throwing a party? Surprise the guest of honor with an appearance by J-Woww! (Disclaimer: She only serves the "hottest clubs in Long Island and NYC".)

    Does your honey have a little too much to love? Gift her a bottle of Jenni's preferred diet pills. Seriously.

    Men like motorcycles. J-Woww can take care of that too! This girl does everything.

    Nothing says, "I love you," like a visit with Garden City's (allegedly) finest plastic surgeon. Mention J-Woww's (real) name and get a discount on your consultation! (Just don't tell your sugar dumpling about that price cut - nobody likes a tightwad on Valentine's Day.)

    J-Woww, what will you think of next?!