Hello world! Snooki is single again, and has taken to her youtube SnookTV channel to remind us that only the leathery, muscley few make the cut.
In "What I Snook For In a Guy," fans get to see a much softer side of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi who has temporarily abandoned her now famous poof for more sophisticated, barrell curls. Snooki makes one thing clear right off the bat: she does NOT think opposites attract.
"Do you think I would date a pale person who doesn't like Ed Hardy?"
What a Poughkeepsie Princess Snooks for In A Man:
According to her fuzzy video, Snooki's number one requirement is looks:
"I don't want date a scary person, you know?! He needs to be a muscley, gorilla-status, um... you know, tan, orange... as long as you're not white and pale like a ghost!"
"Dress fresh to death. You always got to be fresh... But I like the lounge look as well, you know?"
We all know that nothing makes Snooks Poughkeepsie heart pitter patter quite like the blinding rhinestones on an Ed Hardy t-shirt. BUT underneath all of that hair gel and tanning oil residue, the self-proclaimed Snookster really wants a...
3. Good Personality
"I need somebody on my level. Have something there! Give me something... and don't be fake to me... Just treat your girl very good."
...And after scouring the recesses of the internet, all the while losing valuable GTL time, I've come up with the perfect, meatiest, leather like the round, Bumpit-less ball he is sure to dominate this summer, lover boy for Snooki...
Meet The Future Prince of Poughkeepsie: Cristiano Ronaldo
He has style! He has hair-gelled, blown out flair! This grilled hunk of Portuguese muscle meat will make all of Snooki's four foot, eight inch dreams come true!
You're welcome, Snooki!!
The Full Video: