As veteran readers will surely note, Guest Of A Guest New York already published a review of Golden Globes fashion. But I feel the hometown of the award show's voice should be heard too on this pressing issue.
See, while NYC was only able to watch the red carpet procession on television, giving a distorted impression of the stars and outfits, we were there. Thanks to some fine work by the special effects and makeup wizards at Weta, that's actually me standing over Olivia Wilde's right shoulder.
So here are my second opinions from a straight male's perspective on the outfits of the Golden Globes, firsthand. For the record, I liked Olivia's sparkly princess dress just as much as Mara did. Although I must say it got weird around midnight at the after party when Olivia turned back into a pumpkin.
Helena Bonham Carter
Mara Said: Too crazy, too quirky.
I Say: The best Kim Jong Il Halloween costume I've ever seen.
Mara Said: JB can do no wrong, and therefore this is not wrong.
I Say: Bieber Fever must attack the "good taste" center of the brain first, because baggy tuxedo pants are wrong under any circumstance. Although tuxes are often referred to as "penguin suits," this is probably the first time I've seen a celebrity genuinely look like an actual penguin, albeit one with blonde bangs.
Mara Said: Channeling Scarlett O'Hara.
I Say: It looks like shes wearing the 16th green of a Putt-Putt. With that many folds, I can't help but picture her rooting around in there and pulling out a candy bar, or a stuffed animal. Every dress comes with a prize!
Seal and Heidi Klum
Mara Said: They're always on the best list.
I Say: Earlier in the article, Mara made fun of Brad Pitt for wearing sunglasses on the carpet. Not only is Seal wearing sunglasses, he also appears to be wearing the interior of a Volkswagon Jetta. While we're all glad he cares enough about animal welfare to wear the fake stuff, this isn't the AVN awards, and thus I'm going to label this outfit officially a little Too Much.