So New Year's happened. And the following day, you probably woke up with a splitting champagne headache, brushed the confetti out of your hair, found (or didn't find) your pants, and resolved then and there that you would make a sweeping lifestyle change. Now, four days later, you have most likely already gone back to exactly what you were doing. This is because New Year's Resolutions are exceedingly stupid.
We're not saying changing your life is stupid, mind you. There's plenty of ways people change their lives for the better, from getting in shape to resolving not to wear creepy gold bondage masks in public. But New Year's, a time of year when family, work and shitty weather push your stress and blood alcohol levels to annual heights, is generally not the time to embark on a major life reinvention plan. Don't believe us? With the help of some pictures from YRB Magazine's NYE Mansion Soiree, let's go over some of the consensus most popular New Year's Resolutions and why they're a huge mistake... -
Get More Exercise
New Year's Eve: Drunkenly make resolution to exercise at around 1:30 am. New Year's Day: Nursing hangover from hell, resolve to hit the gym tomorrow. January 2: It's your best friend from middle school's last day in town, and he wants to get cheeseburgers. January 3: You got a Wii for Christmas, does that count?
So maybe you overindulged a bit on NYE...
We feel your pain. Nobody likes to fall down a staircase in the middle of a party, even if DJ Pauly D is there to pick you up. But is quitting drinking really the answer? For starters, you're going to have a pounding headache tomorrow. You know what makes that go away? Well, yeah, weed.
Look, if you've got an actual drinking problem, we'd never advise against quitting. But you can't really hang around this scene if you're trying to stay away from booze, and that means no more quality time with guys who rock fur-vested purple pleather tuxedos. So I guess you gotta make that call.
Seriously? The time of year when you have to see your family the most is when you give up your biggest stress-relieving habit...?