"Best $2k I Ever Spent!" Professor James Franco's Guide To Park City Wildlife

by Alex Gilman · February 2, 2011

Celebrities: always full of surprises! And just like when we first found out about Brad and Angelina, or Richard Gere and the gerbil, we thrilled to the exciting news that ubermensch James Franco would be teaching a class at Connecticut College while getting a PhD and, we presume, saving the world from aliens at the same time.

Now, we're well on record with our grudging admiration for James Franco, but enough is enough. How is your average underemployed 20-something supposed to compete with that automaton? I can't even finish a Sudoku and this guy's up at 3 a.m. perfecting mosquito net distribution strategies for indigenous villagers. On behalf of our generation, James, we dig you, but shut the fuck up, already. Take a day off, eat a corn dog, watch a Real Housewives marathon. You may be better than us, and I just know you're a fifth-degree black belt in something, but enough of us at once could still beat your ass.

[photo via]

So let's do what we normally do in these situations, and spotlight some people who are less accomplished than James Franco. That way, we can make ourselves feel better without facing the hard truths of our own shameful laziness that James Franco exposes. It's either that or self-improvement.

These shots of the INSURGE Pictures Sundance Party, which James Franco is rumored to have attended, come to us by way of The Cobrasnake, who also does some pretty awesome things on a daily basis.

Apparently, this guy is actually named (or has named himself) the Fat Jew. He's a rapper/performer/large Semite. I tried googling him, but there are too many naked pictures of him in each profile and it's only 10 in the morning here so I didn't have the heart to continue. Still, why didn't anyone tell me about this guy? Magical.

This is Greg Oden of the Portland Trailblazers, and when his teammates find out that he's healthy enough to dance at a Sundance party but not healthy enough to play ball, they're going to be pissed. Either that, or he's Tyrone Breaux, an aspiring actor who played Customer #1 in "Trade In." Greg Oden jokes (and those gloves) aside, Tyrone, we dig the bow tie/glasses combo. Keep doing what you do.

I don't know who this guy is, but I feel pretty safe in saying that he's not an overachiever. Unless he's Russian, then who knows.

This sweater makes me happy. As long as it doesn't turn out that James Franco knitted it while running 26.2 miles or something like that.

[party photos via The Cobrasnake]