"Best $2k I Ever Spent!" The Art Of "Candid" Party Photos

by Alex Gilman · November 30, 2010

There's only one thing more important than having a good time when out on the town: making sure that everyone else knows you are. We're an image-conscious society, and we wouldn't doll ourselves up and go someplace full of other fashionable human beings if we didn't think we might get noticed or photos from the night might end up on Facebook.

Naturally, you must give due consideration to picking your best "candid" photo face.

Do you go for the "Complete Shock" look, as seen here, with the risk that it may make you look like the chaperone just walked in on you and your prom date halfway through an awkward teenage HJ?

How about the "Best Story I've Ever Told!" look, where you're letting the public know that you're polite enough to look at the camera momentarily, but there's NO WAY you're interrupting the riveting tale you're halfway through. How much would you like to bet that this particular story was about the growth and cultivation of astonishing facial hair?

The "Too Busy To Look Up From My Phone" is a risky maneuver, if only because nobody wants to feel like they're in second place to a small piece of plastic. It helps to be a pretty girl to pull this one off, because hey, maybe she's texting other pretty girls that might end up coming to the party!

When all else fails: The "Douche Supreme." Cellphone +Obscene Gesture + Look of Disdainful Superiority. Although anyone can attempt this advanced move, and many try, it has an extremely low success rate, because, well, it makes you look like a breathtaking douchebag. Looking like the long-lost third Wilson brother may, or may not, help mitigate.