Lowlight: One Direction Is Apparently Not Going Anywhere
If you've ever watched Simon Cowell spew verbal turds from behind a judge's table on one of 15 interchangable singing shows and wondered what he ever did that makes him qualified to cast his judgement on aspiring musicians, One Direction is your answer. And just like NASCAR or "Sex & The City," the overwhelming popularity of One Direction doesn't so much prove that Cowell has good instincts, but simply that global culture is rapidly circling the drain. At least Justin Bieber (who was shut out of the VMA's for the first time ever, marking the exciting beginning of "Phase III" of his career) was kind of weird with his YouTube success story and home-schooled Canadianism. These guys are like boring pre-pubescent cyphers with literally nothing to offer the casual observer. Can't we just skip ahead to the part where three of these guys are in rehab?
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