"Don't Spank A Police Horse": St. Patrick's Day Do's And Don'ts

by Alex Gilman · March 16, 2012

Nobody likes rules, especially on one of the biggest drinking holidays of the year. We get that, and rest assured: we're not here to take your green beer away. But despite the fact that St. Patty's falling on a Saturday is basically the universe's way of telling you that you will be vomiting in the next 36 hours, there's still a line between genial public intoxication and learning how to live the rest of your life without arms because you thought it might be funny to try to high-five a gorilla at the zoo. So in order to help you determine just what constitutes the right kind of wrong, we present our official GofG St. Patty's Day Do's And Don'ts. Ignore at your own risk.

[unless noted, all photos via]