"Best 2K I Ever Spent" Perez Hilton Parties With Mario Lopez And Teaches Us To Write

Perez Hilton and Mario Lopez got down with their bad selves at Shrine, along with 7 thousand teen girls and a lady who looks suspiciously like Paula Abdul. Love him or hate him, Perez has a way with exclamations, so we thought we'd let him describe the evening in his own words.-

Perez quotes are so multipurpose that all we had to do was grab some random twitter proclamations and match them up with the boozy views of Shrine.

"@perezhilton You could tell by my hair color!"

"@perezhilton Bang bang, motherf****r!"

"@perezhilton Go on, hustlers!"

"@perezhilton I am getting stronger and wiser by the hour! Divine universe, thank you. And keep bringing it!"

"@perezhilton Way to make Jesus proud!"

"@perezhilton it's like a unicorn farted in my face!"

"@perezhilton Helping other people make their dreams come true = one of the best things in the world I'm doing!"

"@perezhilton I'm only gonna let you kill me once!!!"

"@perezhilton I'm REALLY not trying to be a hater, but COME ON PEOPLE!"

"@perezhilton At the end of the day, I hope that you live to look at yourself in the mirror and are not dead."

"@perezhilton Get your grind on! xoxo"

"@perezhilton You always inspire me!"

"@perezhilton I miss the taste of your cock!"

"@perezhilton I love sausage!"

"@perezhilton I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Pants!"

"@perezhilton Make that money, honey! You've got bills to pay!"

[All photos via KirillWasHere]