"Best 2K I Ever Spent!" Trash At Webster Hall Is One Big Family Reunion

by SUSANNAH LONG · May 4, 2010

DJ Jess, Alex Malfunction, and Twig Wonderkid rocked Trash at Webster Hall. More rocking? Burlesque performances by Paloma Negra, Debbie Delirium, Apathy Angel, and Victoria Privates. Not rocking at all? How much this little shindig reminded us of our terrifying annual family reunions.

The annual reunion is an institution that all families should experience. Not only does it allow you to connect with long-lost relatives, but it also teaches you a valuable kind of terror that revolves around the tainted gene pool. Any time you feel too cocky, you can peruse your reunion Polaroids and remind yourself that the WTF chromosomal defect could take over at any moment.

Also, they usually have fried chicken at reunions.

Cousin George still doesn't have an understanding of personal space.

Everyone trades stories of the past year. Oh, how we all grumble about taxes and laugh about how quickly children grow up!

Mary Sue is the family hypochondriac. "My head hurts. My hair hurts. My elbow hurts from holding my head and my hair."Oh shut up and take it like a man, Mary Sue.

Of course you ask your mom, "Why does Second Cousin Billy have red hair and a permanent angry gremlin face, and neither of his parents does?" And she's like, "Second Cousin Billy's mom is a giant whore, but don't tell anyone I said so."

Your parents make you play with the weird cousins who aren't allowed to eat sugar on Sundays, and whose parents are super paranoid about letting them watch The Virgin Suicides.

Grandpa brings his pet peacock, and makes everyone address it as if it's human.

Halfway through the runion, it becomes clear that spiking the iced tea was a great idea. Maybe.

Grandma, no! Crap. Every year like clockwork.

The wig entrepreneur sisters always turn up and tell everyone they have an "amazing investment opportunity."

Uncle Mel is getting increasingly brazen about bringing his exotic dancers to family events.

It looks like Cousin Lindy and Wilmer are finally bonding with their new, giant baby.

Family secrets are revealed!

There's always some guy with suspect facial hairĀ  whom no one recognizes. When questioned, he says he's "Ned's son." When made aware that there is no Ned in the family, he head-butts Gramps and runs away.

At least music can bring the whole clan together.

How to round out the reunion festivities? With a spank line, of course!

And then a giant nap is required. It was so exhausting when Lulu found out DeeDee was her mother and her sister.

[All photos from Nicky Digital]