Osama Bin Laden: Porn Hoarder

by Mara Siegler · May 13, 2011

    USA Today reports, "The Obama administration is still trying to recover from the premature release of details from the Osama bin Laden raid, some of which had to be retracted later." We're guessing Osama's giant porn stash will be one of these.

    Even terrorists like watching a little XXX action. It's not that surprising considering the man had three wives. Three.

    What was Osama into? Was he a traditionalist or an extremist with his chosen viewing pleasures?  Gay? AbbottaBadGirl Gets Freaky? Twitter is on fire right now with the hashtag with creative names for what he may have been Talibanging it to.

    "The porn found in the compound was "modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials," says Reuters.

    This translates to VHS tapes. It makes sense. Osama didn't have the Internet so there was no chance of him Pornhubbing it, and he never left the compound so it would have been hard for him to pick up a skin rag. But calling these videos "modern" seems an odd word choice, as if these officials expected him to be creating his own porn with mud, sticks and puppets made out of scraps of clothing he found in the mountains. So how did he get his hands on the videos? More from Reuters:

    "The officials said they were not yet sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it. Specifically, the officials said they did not know if bin Laden himself had acquired or viewed the materials."

    Osama may not have watched it, but I'm betting he did. Stuck in a compound for five years and only venturing between two rooms probably gets a little stale no matter how much time you spend devising evil plots. It wouldn't be shocking to anyone.  Reuters says, "Three other U.S. officials familiar with evidence gathered during investigations of other Islamic militants said the discovery of pornography is not uncommon in such cases."

    There is no word on whether specifics of what he was watching will be released, but could there be an Osama sex tape among the Stash. Vivid Video has their fingers crossed. I'm hoping for this:

    [Top image via]