Take Our Poll! Team Taylor Or Team Robert Pattinson?

by Chiara Atik · November 20, 2009

Wednesday night, we attended a special screening of "Twilight: New Moon". One of us liked it. One of us didn't. One of us is Team Taylor. The other is Team R-Patz. In short, we are an office divided.

Because it's Friday, here's a little glimpse at our debate.

Chiara took Team Taylor, Mandato took Team Robert. Read our excellently formed arguments below. And yes, we KNOW we're too old for this.

TEAM TAYLOR

OKAY. Taylor['s character] is normal, has friends outside of his own family, engages in hobbies and interests besides stalking his girlfriend, isn't condescending, doesn't talk with a weird accent that sometimes sounds weirdly Spanish, and obviously has a hot body.

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TEAM ROBERT

I don't have much critique for Taylor except I think he's homosexual and unintelligent.

TEAM TAYLOR

What are you talking about? He oozes intelligence, clearly.

TEAM ROBERT

I would totally be the vampire sister that is like "I smell wet dog". There is nothing hot about being a wolf; especially with those cut off shorts. Die.

TEAM TAYLOR

Oh, sorry, were you looking at his shorts? I was too distracted WITH HIS CHEST!

TEAM ROBERT

Now that you've gotten me started, isn't his face puffy? PUFFY FACE!

TEAM TAYLOR

At least he SHOWERS!

TEAM ROBERT

You have to when you're a DOG!

TEAM TAYLOR

When the emo vampire skips off to Rio to do god knows what and who, Taylor is there to pick up the pieces!

TEAM ROBERT:

OMG are we forgetting that he told his friends Bella was his girlfriend when she wasn't? That is the LAMEST. THING. EVER.

Obviously, it was necessary to poll the other GofG team members: Team Taylor or Team Robert?

Rachelle: Who is Robert Pattinson?

Mandato: !!!!! He's the hot British actor who plays the Vampire.

Rachelle: (looking at picture) Ewwww. He scares me. He scares me even when he's not in Vampire makeup.

Chiara: HA! Clearly, you are Team Taylor.

Mandato: NO!

Rachelle: Who is Taylor?

Chiara: HE IS DATING TAYLOR SWIFT.

Mandato: Oh, like THAT'S a factor.

Chiara: For Rachelle, it is!

Rachelle: Ooh yeah! I loved her SNL entrance with that wink to Taylor.

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J: Team Taylor. He looks like a gorilla. But that's hot.

Kunst: Team I don't care. But id say robert since taylors 17 and that'll get you 20...

Rachelle: Wait---I think I might be Team Robert.

Atik: WHAT?!?!/Mandato: Yesssssss!!!

Rachelle: I don't like his nose......

Peridis: I think I'm Team Robert. Taylor is like....17.

Five Minutes Later

Rachelle: Wait. Is one a Vampire and one a Werewolf?

Mandato: Yes.

Rachelle: Well, I don't like blood. So. I'm back to Taylor.

Atik: Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss.

At this point, we're 3 for Team Taylor and 3 for Team Robert, which means Billy Gray, Twilight fiend that he is, will be the deciding vote.

Billy: I've decided. I'm team Robert. I can't form an opinion on a 17 year old. It's just not enough.

BUT WAIT!

We forgot one very important member of our team: Stanley Stuyvesant, who, as a dog, OBVIOUSLY sides with his brethren werewolves.

So since it's a toss-up, we're going to let YOU decide! TAKE OUR POLL up at the right and tell us if you're Team Taylor or Team Robert so we can all get back to work!

["Best $2K I Ever Spent": The Twilight Premiere]