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Mary Kate Olsen

Mature yet youthful, edgy yet classy, and perpetually chic. That's you in a nutshell, but you had to go through some awkward ass stages to get there. But at least you made wearing bandanas and cargo pants kind of cute right...? It's hard to believe that you even were such a cheeseball when you were younger, given the fact that you take yourself so seriously now that you barely crack a smile. That's some Kanye West level shit!** 

But regardless of your drastic transformation, you've always remained an adult trapped in a 12-year-old's body. Well, you kind of still have the body of a 12 year old, and we're actually jealous of that because it's why you can wear anything you want and pull it off! Your waif-like figure is probably from all the cigarettes you smoke, because you're so sophisticated that you wouldn't dare to break a sweat in....gasp...a fitness class! We do have one bone to pick with you, and that's your taste in much older men who may be successful, but aren't exactly dashing. Seriously, what the fuck? Do you not grasp how creepy the DILF thing is? Especially when you take into consideration that you look the same age as your beau's teenybopper daughter? Then again, you are one of the select few who are mature enough to pull that off. But still, we're side-eyeing that. 

**We need to talk about the time that Kanye and MK made out a million years ago, that's not brought up enough!

[Photo via @bitchbewithyou]

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