27,000 People Line Up To Get Rejected From Harvard

by Stanely Stuyvesant · January 16, 2008

John Harvard Statue

[John Harvard Statue in Harvard Yard]

Applicants to Harvard this year rose by 4,000, making the total number of rejectees hopefuls roughly 27,000, while incoming classes have remained the same size at 1,650. So some simple algebra shows that Harvard's acceptance rate this year will be a mere 6%.

That means only 6% of those applying will eventually piss on John Harvard's right foot, a rites of passage for all Freshman who hope to graduate.  Other rites include primal scream, as well as having sexual congress in the book stacks of Widner Library.  You'll notice that the right foot is much brighter than the left.  This isn't because of all the golden showers it receives, but rather from the hands of tourists who rub his foot for good luck when they take pictures in the Yard.