[Photo by Ben Watts] Summer parties are the perfect place to pick up a summer fling: people are in a festive mood, open bar helps things along, and everyone looks better when they're not wearing North Face.
Still, finding the right summer fling can be tricky business if you don't know what to avoid. Here are some things to avoid when scouting for some Summer Lovin'...
You see him from across the party. He's staring at you. He's cute. He's.....
drinking a cosmo. Even in 1999, it would have been weird for a guy to be drinking this. Avoid.
wearing a button-down shirt that is completely unbuttoned. Conceited, or just lazy.
Wearing Front-pleated khakis. Grandpa?? What are YOU doing here?
got his cellphone attached to his belt. It's called a pocket. And you're at a party.
wearing sunglasses inside, without irony. Oh right, your retinas are that sensitive.
Ok, if he's free of any of the above symptoms, he can pass on to round 2. He starts to approach you and you give him the courtesy of not running away. He says...
"It's your lucky night. I'm buying you a drink." Unless you get three wishes with the drink, it's pretty much a normal night.
"Has anyone ever told you that your hair looks really dry?" Please stop reading "The Game". Right now.
"So did you know that Adam Lambert from American Idol is gay?" Uhhh, yeah.....are you?
"Hey, wanna see these pictures I took of Ashley Olsen while she was sleeping next to me on a plane?" Dear god, who knows what this man is capable of.
[You think this is cute now but...]
You've talked, you've danced, you've totally hit it off. He says: "Hey, what do you say we ditch this party and go---
straight back to my apartment." No. You have to at least pretend that's not the plan.
straight back to my parents' basement." No. Unless there is a foosball table. Then maybe.
to Caliente Cab Company." Careful: he might not be over 21.
to my villa in Venezuela." Maybe this sounds prudish, but it's probably not a good idea to leave the country with someone on the first date.
Did he pass? Congratulations! You're on your way to having a happy summer fling! And who knows...you might even find lasting love.