All That Glitters is ???

[Photos via American Apparel and Fashion Tribes] 

Today we find ourselves in quite the quandary. When first we spotted a pair of black laméd legs, we guffawed and assumed the wearer had uncovered them in some Norma Kamali-obsessed vintage store. Our laughter lasted all of two blocks before we spotted another pair, this time in gold. And then another, and then slews of them, so of which went beyond metallic and into disco-glitter. Almost, we wanted to like them, but while we're all for risks, we like them to have reason. Fact: shiny+tight = immensely unflattering.

The evidence was overwhelming, or so we thought. But today, indulging in a Hills rerun at the gym, we caught a glimpse of the she-Pratt sporting American Apparel's black eel version. Hmmph, we thought. We hate the she-Pratt, really, we do, but we kind of aimed her leggings. Not, we think, enough to buy them, but we're no longer entirely sure. And thus, dear readers, we ask for your opinions. Does shiny+tight = immensely unflattering enough of the time to banish all thoughts of purchase? Are there indisputable rules that guarantee success? Let us know, and soon, because shiny+tight+hot+humid = not happening.