High Society Episode Four: The Recap

by SARAH KUNST · April 1, 2010

When we last left our cast of characters they were living indulgently, drinking profusely and dressing expensively. In this episode none of that has changed, but we are treated to a new layer of discourse as obsession and rebirth become main themes in the lives of these supposedly aspirational, but primarily pitiably players.-

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Paul Johnson Calderon shows us that sometimes starting over is just more of the same when his attempts to shed the mantle of dilettante with a triumphant return to fashion falls flat. He explains earnestly that "there's this misconception that I'm a party boy" and then proceeds to showcase the following, wholly un-partyboy antics:

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Destroying public property after a night of hard partying

Drinking while convincing someone else to fix his mess(after explaning to him that of course, "You will have to make restitution paul" mommy dearest happily forks over the cash and PJC reflects on this act of benevolence and chance to right his wrongs "I don't feel sorry, I don't feel badly". Oh sweetie, we know you don't.)

Claiming to be a stylist slash* magazine contributor who's had to "lay low" recently[see: stint in rehab following brush with kleptomania]

Blowing a great chance to style Tinsley in favor of obsessing over voicemails that may or may not have been left by Page 6 and chatting with that cute boy in the La Force clothing closet

In all, PJC you've turned over a new leaf but it just so happens that it looks exactly the same as your old one. Landing on Guest of a Guest for yet another sticky fingers incident is probably not the best way to kick off a redemption tour of NYC fashion and society. Also, Tinsley doesn't want your icky hairy black coat or extra initial. Her new stylist PJ and his floaty pink Marchesa dress suit her just fine.

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Once she's in that sample size frock the Tins heads out to the Opera debut. She learned her lesson re: Cassi, cameras and screaming temper tantrums and didn't bring her Prince Not So Charming, opting instead to brave the step and repeat alone. The PT(Post Topper) camps were clearly delineated and explained - some don't know what to say and the others channel Dale with words of discouragement about the life lived single. Apparently no one above 14th street understands the urge to trade in your outdated American model for a new, sporty Euro edition. No one except Carolina Herrera who offers Tinsley words of advice and perhaps the sweetest of all, is always one phone call to an assistant away. Oh and Devorah Rose? Creator of Tinsley's fame and probably directly responsible for her special edition Dior lipgloss? She's brushed aside with nary an airkiss.

Devorah, editor of important free seasonal magazines and cursed with the inability to social climb, has been planning for this moment to see the object of her obsession, Tinsley, for well...an entire episode. She's visited Maggie Norris' showroom(and is adorably flattered that the showroom has been "closed down" for her when really showrooms are always by appointment only, tho it was very nice of Maggie to let her borrow a dress that was the exact shade as Devorah's skin AND hair. I'd guess the occasional nip slip was the only hint of color to break up the ensemble). She's rambled at length about the depth of Tinsley's debt to her "I completely restyled her hair". She's even landed a date who, despite her claim: "If there was an upper east side ken doll it'd be him", is actually short, smallish, and doesn't have blonde hair. Oh Devorah, it's just so cute when you're clueless. Apparently he's rich though, so her friend gives her the ok to bone and bag him later. Her date is understandably speechless when he sees her silicone torpedoes exploding out of her dress but does eventually manage a passable "you look awesome" and then they are off into the night, ready to see and be seen by "all the right paparazzi".

Their romantic night of champagne and NOT social climbing brings them into contact with Carolina Herrera, who in either an attempt to prove her Tinsley loyalty or just a genuine lack of interest in Devorah, barely has time to accept a compliment from a fellow Venezuelan. Burnnnn. Had the indignities ended there it may have been bearable, but when the two underfed foes come into contact, Tinsley unleashes the most deadly of all social weapons - the snub. And she does it five times. Ms. Rose opens up about this slight with a particularly poetic turn of phrase, saying "I think Tinsley Mortimer can give me the time of day, she's about as royal as burger king. Tinsley's 15 mins are up. If her life were an opera the fat lady would be singing".

It's hard to listen to a bitchy blonde talk about fat people and not feel a bit of longing for a Jules Kirby cameo. The enfante (realllly) terrible is down(town) and out with perpetual sidekick and newly revealed sugar momma of the dirty boys, Cleo Vauban. This night is distinguishable from their last only because Jules barely talks down to the help! Even though he's black! She also doesn't drop any of her trademark N bombs! Least you fear she's the one who in fact turned over a new leaf, she promptly negates her almost civil turn by imitating Hitler(hey it IS the sincerest form of flattery) to impress her new found German friends. Jules soon learns there are really only two schools of thought about the Fuhrer - hated or total admiration. This leaves little room for light hearted banter so back into the elevator it is for these uptown girls.

Strangely though, Nazi's loom large in this episode, with Dale Mercer continuing her quest to find out what exactly Cassi's family was doing during the Third Reich and if they broke bread with Eva Bruan. Her searching leads to an appointment with a genealogist who assures her that while he may be an egotistical, controlling cuckold-er, Cassi is not of Gestapo blood. Long live the prince.

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*Slashies are the greatest invention of the twentieth century, no longer can someone pin down your failure and lack of productivity, you simply explain that you are an [artsy career] SLASH [improbable career] and that the details of all your various ventures are subject toNDAs, in process, or HUGE overseas. Jules Kirby? Philanthropist slash Btq owner...in France. Tinsley Mortimer, handbag designer(in Japan!!) slash socialite. Devorah Rose - editor slash Venezuelan heiress. And to think you thought they lived off their fathers, exes and lovers? For shame.

[Guest Of A Guest's Coverage Of The Opera Opening]