Change the way you talk about your time at Burning Man/Coachella!
Please stop telling the story about how one of the guys from Kings of Leon hooked up with you against a port-a-potty because a) it makes you look desperate and b) it wasn't even a guy from Kings of Leon, it was a grungy, pasty white hipster rando. Talk a little more about how your ayahuasca trip gave you such an awakening that you stopped being so shrill with your barista.
[Photo via @burningman]
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