If you're like me and desperately need something to ward off the Sunday Scaries, you too may have waited until the actual air date to watch the leaked Season 7 Episode 6 of Game of Thrones. Totally worth it, save for all the spoiler mines on the interwebs for the past week. But alas, we're here and completely miserable. RIP, amiright? Well, let's recap, in the form of my thoughts, which are usually in the form of my Tweets.
1. I guess all this talk about "dicks" and "balls" can be considered meat locker room talk, eh? (Ha ha since they're freezing. Get it?)
2. Even Wildling Carrot Top wants Jon to bend the knee and that guy is proud AF.
3. The Hound is literally me whenever any of my friends complain about anything. (But Gendry is also me because I also complain about everything.)
4. Is the secret message of this touching moment between Jon and Jorah that Jorah wants DANY'S KIDS to have his sword??? I'm shook.
5. Ugh Arya don't fall for Littlefinger's tricks!!
6. OK, Sansa got a clapback though.
7. This letter is like some sort of controversial Tweet a celebrity posted back in 2012 that just got dug up. If only Sansa had a Snapchat where she could tearfully apologize.
8. Loving Daenerys's coy way of asking Tyrion, "So, do you think Jon likes me?"
9. "He's too little for me." OK, one, rude to say in your present company. Two, Jon is lucky he didn't put his height on his Tinder profile.
10. Does global warming mean that WE'LL have zombie polar bears?
11. Still don't know how these guys get the fire on their swords. Neat trick, though.
12. EWWWW Sansa get Littlefinger out of your room. Never speak in low tones with him!
13. Where are the Lannisters?
14. When we flash to King's Landing is Cersei going to be like 8 months pregnant because time makes no sense in Westeros or what?
15. Anyway, how do these zombie guys scream if they have no vocal chords? Like how do skeletons scream?
16. Oh noooooooo they are sooooooooo fuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkeeeeeed
17. At least these brave idiots know when it's time to run.
18. OK, so they can scream without tongues but swimming is a no-go.
19. RUN GENDRY RUN
20. Dany: *Reads urgent raven* "Call my couturier. I need a winter white fur look that SLAYS...White Walkers."
21. Wrong move, Hound.
22. OH NOOOOOO.
23. OH YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS!
24. Whenever I pick up a green juice I want Dany's dragon music to play in the background. It really is that heroic of me.
25. UGH JON YOU JUST HAD TO SHOW OFF INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING ON THE DRAGON AND PEACING OUT
26. I knew this would happen but still, it hurts.
27. Couldn't Jon hold his breath for like one more minute?
28. How's he gonna get out of this one?
29. UNCLE BENJEN! What exactly is his deal? BUT AS USUAL HE SAVES THE DAY.
30. "We'll meet again, Clegane."
"Fucking hell, we're not." - Me to every drunk girl in the ladies room
31. Is Dany checking out Jon's ice-hard abs or his multiple, life-ending stab wounds? Looks like Ser Davos wasn't joking.
32. In all seriousness though who hasn't had a fight with their sister because they realized they were a sadistic psycho? Just think of it as Arya going away to college and joining a really, really kooky sorority?
33. UGH THESE LONGING LOOKS I CANNOT!!!!!
34. "Wow the last person who called me Dany was my brother...it's almost as if...........we're..........related somehow..."
35. Side note, I hate Jon calling her Dany.
36. UH OH DID HE JUST...BEND THE KNEE? (Metaphorically.) Also does that mean we can end this bit now? It's almost as bad as "You know nothing, Jon Snow." Almost.
37. Tell me where the White Walkers got these massive, Dragon-strength chains in the middle of the Arctic tundra? These mofos are resourceful.
38. Well kids, looks like we're in for a giant zombie ice dragon. Hold on to your Ikea rug cloaks!
[Photos via HBO]