Bio That Lists Everything They Want in a Girl
Yes, Chad (I'm assuming your name is Chad because it's either that or something like Spencer or Kevin), I wake up everyday to please guys like you. I am not genetically predisposed to having a thigh gap, but I will fast until I meet your standards. I look washed out as a platinum blonde, but damn it I will bleach my hair until it is fried and dead in order to accommodate you. Push up bras are suffocating, but I will invest hundreds of dollars in ones with leopard print and pink lace to pander to you. Because that's my goal in life, Chad. To be hot enough to date someone who spends copious amounts of money on chest tattoos and protein powders, but can't afford to sleep on anything nicer than a futon at age 29.
[Photo via @realchadjohnson]
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