Food Sharing
That scene in "Lady and the Tramp" where they share a plate of spaghetti is such bullshit: sharing food is the worst. But unfortunately, it is one of the traditions of a dating you have to endure, like being good about texting back or having to put pants on to go out on a date. When you share a plate of onion rings, you know you both are counting in your head how many are on there so it gets evenly split. The solution? Sneeze in the general direction of the food you're sharing. Casually mention over a milkshake how your doctor thinks you might have mono because you've been sleeping a lot lately (when really you're just a total slug and this has always been the case). Cough into your hands before you reach for a french fry. It's not like you need a doctor's note to pretend you're sick. Disgusting? Yeah. But it's worth it.
[Photo via @disneymovies_cartoons]
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