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Desperate "Quarterback" Boyfriend

Desperate "Quarterback" Boyfriend
How did this girl ever believe that her boyfriend was a former football player when he didn't know what "linebacking" was? He's going to need a lot more than $500 to save his relationship.
My girlfriend and I were just invited to a Super Bowl party at her ex-boyfriend's apartment, and to be honest, last time I met him he told me he played football in college and I responded that I did as well —which was a lie. He asked me what position I played and I told him I played quarterback because that was really the only position I'd heard of. I really don't know anything about football except for the fact that touchdowns how you score points and sometimes you kick the ball. So I need someone who can *quickly* teach me about all of things I would have learned playing football as well as what to say about it. Oh, also, her ex played "linebacker." Should I know a lot about playing "linebacker" too? Do quarterbacks normally know about that? I'm offering $500, but would be willing to go higher if you're an actual college or professional football quarterback, and would pay extra if you knew a linebacker you could bring along to teach me about his position. And if you would be willing to text me good comments to say during the game, I'd to pay you an extra $100 for that. Maybe more if they're good comments.
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