The gentleman scholars of Jersey Shore, desperately clinging to relevance between seasons, met up with wacky hipsterlebrity shutterbug Terry Richardson for an Interview photo shoot. The result is a lesson in deconstruction, boiling the show down to its elements as one would the perfect marinara sauce.

Here you can admire Pauly D.'s hair and The Situation's abs without the distraction of pulsating cheese-house beats, discotheque strobe lights or Snooki's  blurred-out crotch. Vinny, the unassuming wallflower of the crew, barely makes the cut for a group shot, while scrawny Terry gets some lessons in body sculpting (industrial-sized vats of HGH were consumed off-camera, sadly).

Meanwhile, check out Terry's pre-bench press carbo-loading with a very Italian hero: