Konvict (Akon)

Setting aside the question of whether anyone in the known universe would buy a cologne because it was endorsed by the Senegalese Nate Dogg (no), we have here a product that stands entirely on its own for being awful. Though plenty of normal people and Congressmen probably have bondage fetishes, these handcuffs are clearly prison handcuffs, based on the misspelled title. And prisons contain every horrible bodily smell of a hospital, plus a strong essence of violent rape. In other words, you do not want this bottle in your home.

[photo via]