DON'T Spank A Police Horse
If you think this one goes without saying, then you have more responsible friends than we do, as someone Emily knew in college actually got thrown in jail for this. Look, people, we get it: horses get way too much credit. They're always strutting around like they own the place, snorting and flipping their tales and acting all fancy. Three
horses die in a year and they cancel "Luck?" Bullshit. You know what they call it when three stuntmen die? A regular day on the set of The Expendables 2
. Get off your high horse, horses.
Regardless of all that, however, there are some rules for human/horse interactions, primary amongst them being that you really can't spank a police horse. Not only is it likely to kick you in the head, which is how Don Draper's father died in one of those weirdly bad flashback scenes they insist on putting in "Mad Men," but horse cops have a special, borderline creepy (note: outright creepy) bond with their horses, and they will happily throw your ass in the can if you mess with Buttercup