Eating The Worm: True Stories Of Our Craziest, Most Absurd Tequila-Fueled Escapades

by Emily Green · July 25, 2012

One way to not feel like cat poop during the workweek is to abstain from late night alcohol consumption, but we don't do that, nor do we expect you to, and wholeheartedly support those who dutifully observed National Tequila Day last night and are undoubtedly feeling the pain right now. Hopefully whatever/whoever it is you did/drank last night was worth having a wrecked today. The Mexican spirit tends to bring out a special brand of hammered that is often characterized by an inexplicable urge to get naked, urinating in any place but a toilet, and generally outrageous, horrible behavior. In light of the occasion, no one is judging you for being guilty of any of that last night. In fact, in honor of this being the day after National Tequila Day, let us share with you some of our own personal adventures in being a human shitshow with the help of an obscene amount of tequila. All of these are our own true stories or those of our friends, none of whom have National Tequila Day as an excuse. We just acted like complete animals with horrendous judgment and IQ's of dinner forks because we felt like it. In the interest of preserving what little, if any, dignity our moronic friends may still have, and because we feel bad for their parents, we're not going to reveal their real names. But we can't stop you from guessing who they are based on their stories. So enjoy, and happy hangovers to you all.

For the record, these are all 100% FACT, and no one is proud of it.

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