Whore yourself out for fame
Let's face it: you don't go on The Bachelor to find love. That's like going to college for "the education" or going to a plush luxury rehab with spa amenities "for your debilitating pill addiction." Before Corinne was on The Bachelor, she was in a 2 Chainz music video and it's everything you've ever dreamed of. She is probably the only person on the planet whose LinkedIn photo is of her in a bikini. Do we believe she actually loved Nick Viall? Yes, but only to the extent that you could love a guy who is totally beneath you. The real romance on the show was not between Nick and Vanessa, it was between Corinne and the cameras. It's not just about being on reality shows, you're going to have to go above and beyond. Sell gummies that are supposed to give you luscious, lustrous locks when really they give you kidney damage and turn your urine a weird color. Go commando and flash your pikachu to the paparazzi while getting out of your Uber. It's been like, a decade since that was cool, and so it's time to bring it back. Get a DUI or six. Have a stint on "Celebrity Rehab." The flashes from pap cameras are as good for you as bulbs from a tanning bed*: soak up every little bit you can because it fortifies you.
*except neither of those things are good
[Photo via @colympios]
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