How To Be A Reality Show Villain

Raise your hand if you think drinking beverages out of mason jars is edgy and still wear Uggs even though you're over the age of 21. Okay now keep your hand raised if Lauren Conrad was your fave girl on The Hills. Most of you probably raised your hands both times. Good, now take the hand that you raised and slap the sh*t out of yourself with it. It literally pains me that there are people as boring as you on this planet, and I want you to feel as much pain as you have inflicted on me. That's harsh, I know. But you're reading a guide on how to be a reality show riotmaker, so boldfaced honesty from others is something you're gonna have to get used to. Accept that not everybody is going to like you. No, embrace that there's going to be a lot of people who hate you. With the exception of, like, Meryl Streep and Jackie O., the only people who are well-liked are boring people. Being polarizing is where it's at! Yeah you may have haters, but those are people who are just paying way too much attention to you because they're bitter about how boring they are and want to use you as a foil to feel better about themselves. 

[Photo via The Simple Life]