Cry over everything
It was seven years ago that Alexis Neiers left the voicemail heard 'round the world for Vanity Fair writer Nancy Jo Sales regarding the unfair coverage about her and the Bling Ring she was allegedly involved in. Alexis had every right to be mad and Nancy Jo's article actually did cause detriment to the outcome of Alexis' case. But that wasn't what Alexis harped on while crying during her voicemail - it was the fact that Nancy Jo said she wore Christian Louboutins to court, when she really wore kitten heels from Bebe (which were $29, FYI!). Who could forget when Heidi Montag cried on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here because someone took off the labels on her shampoo bottles? Why do you think babies and drunk basic bitches cry all the time? Attention! And attention is a drug for you. Sure, there are alternative ways to get attention, like making intelligent conversation, being witty, or making a generous contribution to society. But do those things ever help you get your way? Hell no. Just because you're a reality star doesn't mean you don't have the talent to win an Oscar for playing the victim role all the time! Douse your baby blues in menthol and perfect your ugly crying face that will be more meme-worthy than Kim Kardashian's!
[Photo via @itsalexishaines]
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