Weekly Run In With The 5-0

by KRISTIN LUCIANO · August 10, 2009

    [Photo by Dayfile ] August is finally upon us, and the Hamptons is alive and well, not only with the party circuit, but in criminal activity and police reports as well. Amidst the typical summer reports ranging from DUI's, petty larceny, and misdemeanors, there have been some rather funny reported incidents. Seriously, the Hamptons never ceases to surprise. Click below to see for yourself...

    1.  A 15-year-old girl reported  that a 25-year-old man on a bicycle had stolen her cell phone from her hands and rode away while she was standing in front of the movie theater on Main Street in East Hampton. After the thief stopped his bike and took a better look at the cell phone, he was probably disappointed to see that it was Jonas Brothers limited edition phone with all three of their shining faces on the back.

    2. A 68-year-old man reported that two suspicious men in dark business suits had rung his doorbell on Bailow Lane and tried to sell him a Bible. The man asked them to leave and they did. It must be a new  policy that when you are working for Jesus the required uniform is a dark business suit.

    3. A Springs woman, 52, reported that someone had glued action army figures, one box of Lucky Charms, and slices of bologna to the roof and hood of her son-in-law’s 1995 Mercedes. She said that the car does not run so she lets him keep it parked in front of her house on Gardiner’s Lane in an attempt to sell it. The objects began to fall off in the rain, but damage caused to the paint from the glue is approximately $1,000, according to the report. This report is  too funny. It requires no commentary. Done.

    4. An East Quogue woman called Southampton Town Police after someone stole five purses from her kitchen table on Sunday. No additional information was available. Unless she was having some sort of purse party, what was this lady seriously doing with five purses in her kitchen?

    5. A 64-year-old woman from Westhampton Beach told Village Police that over the past week someone has been watching her in her apartment on Oak Avenue through a satellite surveillance system and broadcasts the description of her underwear as she changes. The woman told police the same person also turns her underwear inside out when she is out of her home. The facial expressions on the police officers faces that responded to this call must have been priceless when they were told about this woman's undergarment habits. Maybe in her mind everyday it's inside-out day everyday.

    *Reports courtesy of SHP and EHP